now that i have 6 months in seattle under my belt, i've decided i'm an expert. this makes a full year of working here, and i thought i'd compare my two living situations.
-beds in greenwater are much softer. funny, i know; you'd think all the fluffiness of seattlites would necessitate like feather beads or something, but that hasn't been my experience.
-it doesn't snow in seattle. after two sets of six months here, i've not got snowed on even once. last winter in greenwater, we had feet on the ground for four whole months! what gives?
-there's different people in each place. i thought everyone was the same, but it turns out, i'm wrong. there isn't one person who lives in both seattle and greenwater at exactly the same time. weird.
-it's way colder in greenwater. i think last winter the highest temp i felt (no need for a thermometer with THIS sami!) was around 55 degrees fahrenheit, while in seattle, i worked one day where it hit 103! record setting temps! i was under the impression that for every thousand feet of elevation the temps drop by 3 degrees in stable conditions. apparently i was wrong.
-seattle has only the months of may-october, and greenwater only has december-april. not a continuous calender. i guess they have not having november in common. i always thought the calendar was more or less start to finish, but in twelve months in seattle, i've not seen a single day on the calendar from november-april. also a bit weird. i blame greg nickels and tim carr.
-the stranger doesn't get distributed in greenwater. it's like they don't want to believe in a world outside of seattle. (oh wait. . .)
anyway. i'm sure there's more, but i'm in the middle of tryna move without my roommates knowing, so i'm a little distracted. i'm not moving out to avoid paying something, or to avoid them for any reason other than i haven't told them i'm leaving today. i'm certain there is a better way to do this, but for some reason, hindenburg the neighbour cat has my tongue. plus the junior roommate wasn't home last night, and this morning, everyone is sleeping. and i haven't seen hindenburg for a couple days, so i don't know if she'll give me my tongue back before i leave. i imagine awkwardness if the roomies wake up. the only issue i can think of is i hafta move my mattress, which is heavy, ergo i may hafta ask for help, and i hafta vaccuum. since the senior roomie shares a wall with me, he might hear. unless hindenburg has his ears.
lastly, someone mentioned an ex-neighbour "dating" me. while i know what dates are and indeed enjoy their meaty fruit and the milkshakes one can "drop" with the sugar drawn from said meaty fruit, i'm not sure what "dating" entails. would she "huck dates" at me? would she "paste dates" on my forhead? would she simply "gift dates" to me? until we clear this up, ima steer clear. no offence; i'm sure she's a really nice girl, but i reserve dates for when i'm in california and i can buy locally. i've not seen any date palms in the puget sound basin.
Showing posts with label greg nickels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label greg nickels. Show all posts
24 October 2009
22 August 2009
toby young is a liar.
a close friend buys wine according to the axiom "you can't judge a bottle of wine by its label, but it's a good place to start" and it was with this in mind that i took up with GREAT EXITEMENT the relationship manual "how to lose friends and alienate people" by toby young only to find that it was NOT A RELATIONSHIP MANUAL AT ALL, but rather a whiny "memoir" about being hired by vanity fair magazine, shipping from london to new york and successively FAILING AT EVERYTHING. no hints on how to "alienate" people. um. . .come on! throw us a bone here! there's 500,000 people in this sorry metropolis and THERE'S NOT ONE ANTI-FBC BLOG ANYWHERE! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG??? PEOPLE STILL TALK TO ME!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
anyway. we were at the mural amphitheatre last night checking out the moondoggies' groovy-but-ultimately-disappointing set when we noticed a random guy DANCING BY HIMSELF. i thought, "is this actually happening?! we're in SEATTLE for God's sake!! DANCING???!!! REALLY???!!!" he was WAY into the music, something akin to being WAY INTO JELLYFISH AND "DANCING" ALONG WITH THEM. he was also missing a tooth, wearing mid-nineties "realaxed-fit" jeans and a "loose fitting" button-down that was obviously meant to be worn by sweaty jersey locals to their jobs as extras on the set of "the sopranos". basically, HE WAS FKN AWESOME!!!!!! people in seattle have ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF HUMOUR ABOUT ANYTHING--which explains why it took EIGHT LONG YEARS to oust greg nickels--and this righteous fellow was flouting the (breaking character for a moment of honesty here) utterly pretentious, stayed, spineless, stultifying seattle ethic. (okay, back we go.) when the moodoggies finished (thank God), this man rushed the stage in utterly ecstatic anticipation of FRUIT BATS' return, after six or so years--where the @#$(*& were you guys?--and PROCEEDED TO DANCE HIS @$$ OFF EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WAS PLAYING ANY MUSIC. to his later-apparent dismay, he was joined by other people at the stage. the crowd continued to grow, as did this man's anxiety. FRUIT BATS started their groovy-and-entirely-awesome set, and this man started dancing in earnest. when the crowd round him joined in, we could sense his fear. "what were these people doing?" he seemed to be thinking. you could see in his face his confusion when he turned away from the stage. "this is seattle, and people are dancing! what is wrong with this?" he then showed his stronger stuff, dancing his way out into the crowd where he proceeded to dance with now wild abandon. he was alone, just like he thought he should be, and he was dancing only for himself. the smartly seated crowd around him ignored him in practice, though they were mocking him in typical passive-aggressive seattle style--the palm-face stage whisper. by the time FRUIT BATS crowned their set with a typically groovy and restrained cover of INXS' anthemic ballad "never tear us apart", he looked utterly spent, AND HAPPY AS THE HINDENBURG.
in other news, the horrible, TOTALLY UNDESERVED heat of the last week of july has brought on the feeling of an early fall. the leaves are dropping already and there's colour in trees that usually don't break till late september or early october. when the weather pattern turns to more of a marine push, it feels like such a reward. we got through that horrible week, and now we get an early dose of fall, THE BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR. and if you haven't watched the train video moe posted last week, do! it has snow. snow is God's way of saying "I love you."
anyway. we were at the mural amphitheatre last night checking out the moondoggies' groovy-but-ultimately-disappointing set when we noticed a random guy DANCING BY HIMSELF. i thought, "is this actually happening?! we're in SEATTLE for God's sake!! DANCING???!!! REALLY???!!!" he was WAY into the music, something akin to being WAY INTO JELLYFISH AND "DANCING" ALONG WITH THEM. he was also missing a tooth, wearing mid-nineties "realaxed-fit" jeans and a "loose fitting" button-down that was obviously meant to be worn by sweaty jersey locals to their jobs as extras on the set of "the sopranos". basically, HE WAS FKN AWESOME!!!!!! people in seattle have ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF HUMOUR ABOUT ANYTHING--which explains why it took EIGHT LONG YEARS to oust greg nickels--and this righteous fellow was flouting the (breaking character for a moment of honesty here) utterly pretentious, stayed, spineless, stultifying seattle ethic. (okay, back we go.) when the moodoggies finished (thank God), this man rushed the stage in utterly ecstatic anticipation of FRUIT BATS' return, after six or so years--where the @#$(*& were you guys?--and PROCEEDED TO DANCE HIS @$$ OFF EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WAS PLAYING ANY MUSIC. to his later-apparent dismay, he was joined by other people at the stage. the crowd continued to grow, as did this man's anxiety. FRUIT BATS started their groovy-and-entirely-awesome set, and this man started dancing in earnest. when the crowd round him joined in, we could sense his fear. "what were these people doing?" he seemed to be thinking. you could see in his face his confusion when he turned away from the stage. "this is seattle, and people are dancing! what is wrong with this?" he then showed his stronger stuff, dancing his way out into the crowd where he proceeded to dance with now wild abandon. he was alone, just like he thought he should be, and he was dancing only for himself. the smartly seated crowd around him ignored him in practice, though they were mocking him in typical passive-aggressive seattle style--the palm-face stage whisper. by the time FRUIT BATS crowned their set with a typically groovy and restrained cover of INXS' anthemic ballad "never tear us apart", he looked utterly spent, AND HAPPY AS THE HINDENBURG.
in other news, the horrible, TOTALLY UNDESERVED heat of the last week of july has brought on the feeling of an early fall. the leaves are dropping already and there's colour in trees that usually don't break till late september or early october. when the weather pattern turns to more of a marine push, it feels like such a reward. we got through that horrible week, and now we get an early dose of fall, THE BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR. and if you haven't watched the train video moe posted last week, do! it has snow. snow is God's way of saying "I love you."
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