on the subject of "new year's resolutions": i am against them. however, ima take a few pages from the books of bucky katt and riley freeman and make a few anyway.
1) i resolve to quit hiding my feelings so much. this will help folks get an understanding of just how pissed off i am that i hafta talk to them.
2) i resolve to talk more and think less. this will align me more with the general tenor of our american society.
3) i resolve to speak my mind more when i'm angry. (this isn't that different from #2, just more specific.)
4) i resolve to let people know i'm important more often than i now do. this will help you if you don't know me.
5) i resolve to point out mistakes and explain deficiencies more. again, this will help you more than me.
6) i resolve to drive a car with chromy wheels. cos i'm awesome.
7) i resolve to kick ass and take names.
8) i resolve to get completely, belligerently shitty at least three times a week. i haven't been consuming anywhere near enough alcohol in the past 28 years and just over six months. gotta help flow the economics. one or two beers here and there jes ain't enough.
9) i resolve to have many anonymous trysts with various different cougars this winter. shouldn't be hard. ima jes slap the bar with a benjamin or two and they'll come asniffin.
10) i resolve to get post up tons of sick footy on youtube. once you see my edits, you ain't see me with THREE hubbles.
11) ima ask this one girl on a date. she's kinda cute, and she can almost keep up with me on the hill. okay, she can't really keep up, but she's nice, and she does know how to ski. i mean, if i wanneda leave her behind, i could, y'know, but i don't. i'd jes straightline a bit and she'd be gone. but i don't do that. cos i know i'm awesome. don't hafta prove myself. one look and you'll know that, too. i ain't scared. it's easy. watch this: "hey, (redacted)! we gone town tonight! get dressed! wear them jeans an them tall boots! and get some ice in that belly!" and that, my friends, will be that.
04 January 2010
02 January 2010
i hesitate to use the word "irony".
i finally got an afternoon off the hill. some "breathing room", if you will. thing is, the reason i got the afternoon off is cos my boss was tired of me sniffling and looking pinched when my sneezes, frequent in approach but rare in execution, showed in my now red-from-the-upper-respiratory-bug-(URB)-i-just-contracted eyes. which means i am "aving" trouble breathing. i've been struggling to use my usual sure-to-work cure for the URB, the vaunted "ignore it till there's nothing to ignore" method, but i'm only 3 days in, and there's definitely still shit to ignore. anyway.
apparently this is the winter for what i'll call "too much damn work". i haven't had a full day off in 26 days. today's paycheck (before taxes and bills) was the biggest i've ever received, but for now it's scant consolation. i feel like i've aged an entire month since my last day off. my boss says this is a "good problem to have", along with our other christmas related "good problems to have" such as "too much beer", "too much food" and "too much money", and i'll agree with him tuesday morning when i can sleep in for the first time in a month, but today, all i got is this URB.
third, my christmas list was entirely unfulfilled. don't know why. i got carhartts, socks, long underwear and chocolate, a good showing to be sure, but no H3 or H2. not even a set of righteous 22s for my now non-existant H3. poop.
fourth: i really hate it when TV weatherpersonalities celebrate that it's too warm to snow up where we need snow for summer water. seriously. washington has one of the driest july-september seasons in the nation, and we depend almost entirely on water that falls as snow from october through july. how is it good to wash this life giver into puget sound? more importantly, HOW AM I TO SKI COMFORTABLY WHEN IT'S RAINING?????? food for thought.
speaking of food, i haven't bought groceries in two weeks. i've needed groceries for three weeks. i don't know if i've eaten a real meal outside of christmas eve and christmas day since thanksgiving. no wonder the URB has such a hold on my eyeballs. i've had a lot of chocolate and beer, though. that's something. add in some nutty cheese in there and you've got FBC's "Most Righteous Diet EVER".
lastly, i'm working on the "FBC Guide to Getting Sicker". i've already come up with a few steps, but i need all the help i can get. example: step five: walking on concrete with your rental skis still attatched to your feet; step eight: using cheap rental gear from '89 that you purchased at a swap meet in '96 and becoming irate when it shatters; step 13: having your '86 kmart special tuned up for more than it was worth new so that you can "start commuting by bicycle". you get me. anyway. ima go buy some more wool pieces. wool makes me shit my pance.
apparently this is the winter for what i'll call "too much damn work". i haven't had a full day off in 26 days. today's paycheck (before taxes and bills) was the biggest i've ever received, but for now it's scant consolation. i feel like i've aged an entire month since my last day off. my boss says this is a "good problem to have", along with our other christmas related "good problems to have" such as "too much beer", "too much food" and "too much money", and i'll agree with him tuesday morning when i can sleep in for the first time in a month, but today, all i got is this URB.
third, my christmas list was entirely unfulfilled. don't know why. i got carhartts, socks, long underwear and chocolate, a good showing to be sure, but no H3 or H2. not even a set of righteous 22s for my now non-existant H3. poop.
fourth: i really hate it when TV weatherpersonalities celebrate that it's too warm to snow up where we need snow for summer water. seriously. washington has one of the driest july-september seasons in the nation, and we depend almost entirely on water that falls as snow from october through july. how is it good to wash this life giver into puget sound? more importantly, HOW AM I TO SKI COMFORTABLY WHEN IT'S RAINING?????? food for thought.
speaking of food, i haven't bought groceries in two weeks. i've needed groceries for three weeks. i don't know if i've eaten a real meal outside of christmas eve and christmas day since thanksgiving. no wonder the URB has such a hold on my eyeballs. i've had a lot of chocolate and beer, though. that's something. add in some nutty cheese in there and you've got FBC's "Most Righteous Diet EVER".
lastly, i'm working on the "FBC Guide to Getting Sicker". i've already come up with a few steps, but i need all the help i can get. example: step five: walking on concrete with your rental skis still attatched to your feet; step eight: using cheap rental gear from '89 that you purchased at a swap meet in '96 and becoming irate when it shatters; step 13: having your '86 kmart special tuned up for more than it was worth new so that you can "start commuting by bicycle". you get me. anyway. ima go buy some more wool pieces. wool makes me shit my pance.
26 December 2009
QUESTIONS! to all your answers.....
Why is it that y-o-j is of no use in Path Words,
but j-o-y is? Same letters.
Why is the wonderful aussie word "roo", (meaning kangaroo)
of no utter meaning in Yankdom?
Why can I fine 7 little words in 9 scrambled letters
but I can't see the 9 letter word?
Where are all the Scrabble players that used to be?
When, Oh when will I find time to read the 720 page book
I just got from the library,
A Team of Rivals?
Why, when we're now 4 days UP from the BOTTOM
(December 21)
do I not notice the long dark night being shorter
and the short (sometimes) bright day
being longer?
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