two more shopping days until one shopping day left!!

so, i've been noticing that all the "tarjét" commercials are coming pre-laced with a handy "countdown" calendar. in case you are too lazy to actually remember what today's date is, they tell you, in a friendly "flip-off" calendarway. they even imply that "tarjét" is so convenient that a roly-poly sandy clause will--get this!--RUN to make the closing bell. i'm a bit embarrassed to mention that the reason i know about these commercials is the vast amount of bad TV the landlord and i have been watching recently. he was sorely disappointed to miss last sunday's two hour survivor finale for a christmas party. i celebrated missing it by watching two hours of sportscenter. including chris berman's "the blitz". chris berman can SU(* *& *&^^S.
next on the agenda, we have the high cost of sled use. as a christmas gift to my boss (my portland buddy calls me a "suck-up" for this), i purchased a gallon of "VES Gold" 2-cycle sled oil. for $42.99. apparently sleds can only run on oil that is refined by artisan elves schooled at the prestigious OPEC school, from oil shale that is water-extracted on the dark side of mars. (remember that the $42.99 a gallon doesn't cover the actual gasoline part of the internal combustion reaction.) good thing i haven't had a day off in two weeks and that i won't for another two.
third on the FBC calendar: small towns. apparently i made the list of "eligible bachelors" over in the "snowsports school." while i am obviously eligible and certainly "in demand", i'm a bit taken aback by the drama and gossip it takes to be considered "eligible". most importantly, i'm worried that people in the "snowsports school" are talking about me. just the name "snowsports" gives me the "unfinished metal" shudders. or the "ceramic belt on ceramic belt" shudders. while in ballard, i was equally--possibly more than equally--"eligible". i mean, i'm a bike mechanic, for goodness' sake. in these trying economic times, considering as well the "green thrust" of our economy, a bike mechanic is like the archangel gabriel. and yet i never once heard of two neighbourhood women clamouring for my worthy attention. now i'm in the hills, telling eighteen year old "food handlers" who get paid 47 cents an hour to "stop pitching me attitude" and getting $175 speeding tickets and alla sudden my stock is "blue chips". hm. food, then, for thought.
fourth, i really like slaid cleaves. like "listen to all three albums i own at least once a day" sort of "like". i know these things, too, shall pass, but for today, i feel like a fourteen year old emo kid circa 2001 who just discovered chris carraba. for those who may have suggested i check out "insurgent country", i have this to say: i can't find but one album of his in the entire puget sound drainage. sonic boom can't see him with the HUBBLE. (thanks, aaron mcgruder.) how's that for "insurgent"?
fifth, and maybe most important, i'm wearing my black ibex wool jersey. it makes me refined and sleek and fast and awesome all at once. watch out, ladies!!!