one fake homeless person at a time.

11 April 2010

clarifications.

hm. . .apparently i thought maggie gyllenhall was "unbelievable". she was not. "less believable as a mother than robin williams as a mother" would be the correct answer.
anyway. i had a buncha stuff to write about, but i've forgot it all. as my father would say, "musta been a lie."
i received a righteous comment today from a fellow crystal mountain denizen: (poorly quoted, but emotionally accurate.) "you always go around with a look on your face like you don't even want anyone to talk to you!" well, D'UH!!!!
i have a confession to make: i hafta go back to the "real world" in just over a week, and i'm ill-prepared. i've been strangely social this winter, even happy, and i ain't sure i have the sheer volume of hate in me it takes to survive a seattle summer. i mean, aside from cursing about seattle in the shop a couple weeks ago and subsequently getting a couple complaints about my language and attitude and one time landing on the salomon america warranty department "shit list" for telling a dude who worked there to "do [his] f*(&^% job" and almost getting a $550 negligent ticket for 59 in a 35 on the boulevard, i've been remarkably calm. i've been to (count em!) THREE potlucks and TWO taco tuesdays, a work dinner and a lot of "olympics parties" and i bought a ticket to the dirtbag ball (lotsa drunk tourists and some REEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY drunk locals) and almost attended and, oddly enough, i enjoyed myself all the while. curse you, feminine wiles!!! my carefully crafted walls aren't quite so high anymore!!! HOW DO I ARROGANTLY STARE DOWN MOTORISTS AND FORCE THEM TO DO MY BIDDING WITHOUT (much) QUICKLY ACCESSIBLE ANGER?!?!?!?!?! HUH?!?!?!?!?!!??!!
and since we're alla sudden "conversating", ima add a few sense: "ethically diverse" police forces sound pretty righteous. since the formerly "short-lived" political correctness movement is now in its fourth or fifth decade, why not spread the "luvin"? after the question about "ethnicity" we could answer questions like "do you believe it is 'wrong' to shoot a suspect for having a pierced lip?" and "how many bites from the K-9 unit is enough to subdue a suspect who's 'wilin out'?" we could have quotas: for every two "guileless joe" schlabotniks we could have one sarah "machiavelli" potter. if a brutality complaint was logged, we could hide behind "ethical diversity"; if an officer believes it's okay to throw a fifteen year old girl to the ground and punch the livin $#!@ out of her cos she took her shoe off "aggressively", then sorry, kids, that's the law. can't discriminate against dudes who have no conscience. hiring would involve the top candidates from the "by the book" list as well as the "failed third grade morals" list. if you miss the "good cop" cut, you could always "join the dark side". maybe bribe a few public officials. work your way into a theft ring and then apply for a job to make yourself the ring's "protection". food, at any rate, for thought.
today was my 103rd day of skiing since 11 november. SNOCKA!!! now if i could remember how to tie my shoes. or use a fork.

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