distractions and name droppings.

i was checking up on my Important World News earlier today when. . .okay. let me rephrase that: i was reading bikesnob and i found out there were some really hot "podium girls" at the tour of gila. one of them had some "ink" and "outsized cleavage". velosnooze.com had an article about her. appartently the woman in question was so striking that comments on her photograph hadda be left off the public forum in order for velonews to remain "family oriented". this led me somehow to youtube and videos of liz hatch, a pro road racer, apparently talking about how awesome racing is. (she could have been talking about how she likes to drive cadillacs and eat watermelon, though. i don't actually know what she said cos the library isn't a place where one can listen to random cycling-themed videos at full volume. she's also in possession of "outsized cleavage", though i din't notice if there was any "ink".) ten minutes wasted, i then went over to noaa's website and checked my weather for my day off tomorrow. the verdict? 1500' snow level with up to a foot possible. now, i'm not one to be surprised at our washington springs. i remember the one when i was twenty where on mother's day it was 86 degrees--hot up in here by any standard except late july to early august--and by tuesday it was snowing at the water in vancouver. (that was also the time when i pushed my non-starting car into a snowbank to park it and forgot put it in first or set the e-brake and came back sunday night to find it gone. upon further inspection i found it was still parked in the snowbank, but the snow had since retreated about eight feet below the level of the parking lot.) at any rate, my plan for tomorrow had been to ride my squishy, the first such ride since late october, but now i ain't so sure.
in other news, i've heard a few too many people recently attempting to resurrect the word "righteous" outside of lutheran circles. this is unacceptable. if one were to check our archives, one would notice that i was using this word waaaay back at the middle of last summer. had you known me before that, you'd have seen me use it as early as mid june, and even that was after i repurposed it from my laser-using coworker. i'm not sure what to do. i need a new word, and fast. "snocka" just doesn't flow as well, but no one else is really gonna use that one. "jeans", maybe? as in "them jeans is TOTALLY jeans"? not sure. "packet"? "them bikes is so packet, you'd think people'd actually ride em steada pushin em around cap hill"? i don't know. i'll get back at ya on that.
"going forward", me and the woman next to me went to "key arena" (formerly and more humbly "the colosseum") to see a couple "rat city roller girls" bouts. the second bout was between the then 1st and 2nd place teams and was decided in the last four minutes of the hour long bout. the first bout, however, between the then 3rd and 4th place teams, was decided in about the first ten minutes. it was lopsided, to be sure. while the second bout was to a combined score of around 150, the first was decided by over 200 points. (202, to be exact.) it looked like cliff lee pitching against my 8th grade intramural team, "taco bell". (we weren't sponsored, if you must know. we were just an awesome team with an awesome name. i-m champs, too. i totally was the captain.) more intriguing than the bouts were the cheerleaders. dudes in tights and tutus and one woman in a vinyl bodysuit. and a "hype man" named "queen b" with all her hair piled on top of her head wandering around talking dirty to all the "hot guys" and calling our section "the really drunk one". which was unfair, cos the woman next to me and i only had one beer apiece. the woman next to me and i were apparently in the wrong section, even though the tickets said "general admission". we were in the "throttle rockets" section, even though we should have been in the "sockit wenches" section. it ended up not mattering, cos no one came to interview us or roll us up. we also ate some chicken strips and fries and had pbrs. we also did the wave. that totally "slayed".
some "social commentary": there's a dude across from me has his glasses in his hand instead of on his face and is sitting with his face six inches from his monitor. weird. and some woman called to ask if we are a bike shop today. i answered "that's why we're called 'BIKE(redacted)!" my boss today asked how i could still have such a strong superpower ("bitterness", if y'all'd forgot) when i "have a girlfriend" and i said "i wasn't bitter about not having a girlfriend" and he just looked at me. i said "okay. that wasn't the only thing." he then told me i hafta wear my shades (green bug-eyes with sparkly fireworks patterns on the temples) whenever i'm enacting my superopower.
i awoke this morning with excitement in my breast only to find my "murdered out" (what polly johnson of 764-HERO would have called it) orange juice "totally slayed" from a ritual "vodka sesh" last night. i was utterly halved. the walk to work took more than a half hour due to my dejected feet being unable to move further than a foot at a time. speaking of which, the elder roomie just told me it's been replenished and a sixer of "pike 'kilt lifter' scotch red" added to the "stable".
aight. i'm out. peace.