The Way I See It.

the heads at crystal are tryna open this weekend based on a forecast that is already completely wrong. baker got snow, the lowlands got rain, alpy got snow, and there's four inches on the ground at crystal. hm.
with that, a full description of my day:
.woke up ready to go skiing.
.thought about skiing.
.went to go skiing, but first perused the avalanche centre's telemetry for chinook, saw that nothing had happened, but decided to hope for the best.
.should have perused the DOT site.
.thought about skiing.
.did not peruse the DOT site.
.got to buckley and saw the chinook pass distance covered by a "closed" sign.
.thought about skiing.
.thought that maybe that sign was left up from when it closed temporarily back in october.
.thought about skiing.
.got coffee.
.saw the signs in enumclaw that said "passes closed" and swore a bit.
.maybe punched the steering wheel. then the subie kinda chugged and wouldn't accelerate for a couple miles.
.got to the bottom of the boulevard as the ranger was securing the "closed for the winter" lock on the park gate. almost got out and called him unprintable names.
.got to the shop to tune a pair of skis and found that the power was out, negating the rest of my reasoning for going into the mountains in the first place.
.turned around and drove back home.
.thought about skiing.
.got distracted at the borders by ski and bike magazines.
.drove the rest of the way home.
.checked the clock--1.45 pm.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forecast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the clock--1.47 pm.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at mt baker's snow report. decided that this is the only time of year howat isn't a complete idiot.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at the crystal snow report. tiana claims we'll get forty fkn inches by friday. so far we've got about ten. with no more storms coming. weird.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.took a shower. not cos i was dirty or sweaty, but cos it's what i do when i'm bored.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.got food.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some more extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.peeled shallots. found out that they fit under the "onion" apron when it comes to teary eyes.
.thought about skiing.
.burned the leftover bacon that was in the pan.
.drank a beer.
.started sautéeing asparagus.
.thought about skiing.
.found out that one shouldn't put cayenne pepper in a hot skillet. and that it really hurts the eyes. and makes you cough. and your roommate disappear.
.undercooked the sausage.
.ate abuncha food. actually, despite the fuckups, it was awesome.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer and ate chocolate (nature's recompense for a severe lack of snow).
.forgot whatever the hell it was i set out to do in life.

blogger's "spellcheck" function doesn't know how to pluralise "millennium".

aside from allowing myself to be offended by a comment from a friend that was meant in a harmless boosteristic fashion more than anything else that i took instead to be a comment on the political landscape of this entire state and my own diminished place in it, nothing happened today. i'll get around to apologising to her for my anger, i think, but it may take me a while to "simmer down".
with that, ima make some shit up. and ima bullet-point it. snocka!
.if you wish to move to seattle, you must pass a test. i snuck in last summer by not changing my voter registration, but i think they're onto me. this summer, ima move to the coastal town of bangladesh, greenland.
."snow" is formed exclusively on evaporated salt crystals. that's why the wasatch range gets more snow than similar ranges to the north and south.
."baseball" was invented by norwegians vacationing in the south of france.
."floods" are really just gobs of kangaroo spit.
."telephones" are not communication devices; they are another way for the illuminati to spy on us.
."diamonds" are not actually heavily compressed carbon, but rather alien jet fuel that was dumped here many millennia ago and buried by the fickle wind.
."jets" fly due to "linguini's 'principal'": that awesomeness has negative gravity. that explains why i can fly as well.
.my "dad" was a supersecretspyerguy who trained the likes of james bond and maxwell smart.
."james bond" was NOT a figment of ian fleming's imagination. i have pictures of him having beers with my "dad".
."women's purses" are actually made to carry hidden portions of focused, amorphous "male kryptonite".
."bald dudes" have low- to midlevel superpowers such as the fabled "1-inch punch" and "MRI vision".
."librarians" all have ESP.
."rain" adds 10% to the average adult's IQ.
."internal 'combustions' engines" are driven by elf sneezes.
."bicycles" stay upright due to their innate ability to assume the riders' willpower and desire.
."'nuculer' reactions" are caused by "elven flatulence".
.the "english language" was created by a man named "bill" in the 3rd century BC and hidden from human sight until william the conqueror fell in love with his second cousin, "genevieve", in 1055AD. it predates such things as "eating" and "drinking".

anyway, to quote george carlin, "these are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools."