last week.

speaking of skiing, i've a week left "inn town" before i head back to the hills for the winter to tune skis and ACTUALLY GET TIPPED. i'm tryna absorb all the ballard i can handle, which means i am at home, alone, hiding out again. i did grab a cherry stout at the dray and a slice a "pep" at crash landing, but other than that, my contact with the outside world has been some text from my "CO buddy" who' in socal at a jason mraz show. (took all the restraint i had to NOT say anything about that one cos she was way excited and i din't wanna use my "superpower" on her. which, if you din't know, is "bitterness" according to a friend.) to follow, a short list of "things i will tell you i will miss, whether they ring true or not".
1) not going to parties. (there you go, "club buddy". invited or not, one should definitely hide from them. parties are THE DEVIL!!!!)
2) all the hipsters. really. i need me some a that good ol'fashioned schadenfreude.
3) other people's shitty bikes. those test rides where i think ima die? glorious.
4) the bums. i mean this one. crystal has no "bums" in the conventional sense--though we're all bums in the eyes of "society" up there--and it's these rummies i'll miss seeing. all the skinny legged potbellies, the "garbash yelling" they do to one another, the "museum pieces" made of rags in grocery carts posting up randomly and completely "unattendedly" on the sidewalk behind the shop. . .i could go on. (but i said "short".)
5) attractive women. i really mean this one. ski joints the world over are renowned for their "male to female rations" in excess of 4,000 to 1. not so, ballard. i mean, what can be better than seeing hundreds, maybe thousands of women who want ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU? we "artistik" types need that "unrequieted" longing to help in "curating" our "artistiks". it's too "temptating" to forget that women exist when they. . .um. . .don't exist.
6) being REALLY FAR FROM EVERYTHING. seattle as a "metropopulous" is lauded in the "editorical" world as being "centrally located". which to me has become synonymous (that's an ugly word, aesthetically) with "centrally located WAY THE HECK AWAY FROM EVERYTHING I WANNA DO". two hour drives to a pass? done. cramping after a hike from driving too far? done AND DONE.
7) arguing about the viaduct. 'nuff said.
8) arguing about the mayoral race. "mike bikes?" um, i could be mayor by that definition. joe "i useta run t mobile" mallahan? i useta "run" a "performance" bike shop. same same.
9) self righteous bike commuters. here's why i ride my bike to work: i'd be "a" utter moron not to. parking in this town's a joke. (i'm sure we're not unique in that sense.) driving in this town's a joke. (same same.) riding my bike is fun. "exercisional". OUTFKNSIDE. cars are not. i DO NOT CARE that you are "one less car". that you get--by "dirt rag's" computation--"486 miles to the gallon". that you are "green". i'm green, too, WHEN I HAVE A STOMACH BUG AND I'M PUKIN MY GUTS OUT ALL UP IN EVERYBUDDY'S TOILET BIDNESS.
10) "the stranger's" self righteousness. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU EMBRACE ALL "STROLLS" OF LIFE. I DO, TOO, BY DOING WHAT MOST PEOPLE WANT: BY LEAVING THEM THE F*&^ ALONE. it is a bit funny to me that in the "features section" they blast the south park "hooters" while in the tail end (haha) of the paper they post up all kinda ads for "escorter services". it's also frustrating, cos dan savage is actually a minor deity.
11) all this "neighbourhoodism". south park's better than maple leaf? okay. good for you. NOW SHUT UP. free ballard? last i checked, it's actually quite expensive. i'm payin 5 benjis for a BEDROOM. and i live in "east ballard", more "colourifically" known as "phinney ditch". HAVE YOU SEEN SUNSET HILL?? definitely not "free". unless you're one a them "rummy types".
12) and again, this is somewhat "sincerical": having so damn much to "complainicate" about. living in snow, a short drive away from skiing my brains out, among like minded individuals, i don't know, i get just a wee tad complaisant. (thank you, "601 words you need to know to pass your exam"!!)
aight. ima go cry myself to sleep. alone. again. peace.