doesn't want to get its hair wet? can only dog paddle?

Dude, that's sort of how I swim! Also how the giant in the movie "Princess Bride" swims.

Actually, this is a special fish trained to guide customers in canoes up rivers. In the next picture you can see it standing up to assess some falls/rapids, figuring out whether biped customers will have to portage the canoes around the rapids. "Hm...... hm....." (scratches its chin thoughtfully with creepy fish bristle whisker)

The handy thing about these trained fish canoe guides is that if you arrange to pay them at the end of trip, instead of the beginning, then you never actually have to hand over a whole 5 gallon bucket of live flies and maggots........ because on the last day, instead, you just hit your guide on the head with the paddle and then poach in tinfoil for 15 minutes. Do it outside so it doesn't stink up your kitchen.