making lefse while the potatoes are dry.

scene: eastbound highway 410 by the enumclaw safeway, around noon. i'm driving the subie along the "right turn" lane, blinkerless, next to a mid-nineties model chevrolet suburban. as i slow to execute the mandatory right on "watson road" (as the courier-herald calls it, not "watson street" as the city of enumclaw calls it), i notice two of those white window decal thingies. one escapes my attention cos it mumbles something "pastorial" about salmon, and the other grabs me like a claw hammer: "ditch the bitch lets go fishing". before we tackle the appalling lack punctuation and the overt misuse of My Language, "lets" pick apart the sentiment.
first, is he trying to make a clever pun? "ditch" and "fishing", y'know, the water, fish, the ditch where the dude probly fishes since there's one in front of his hovel and he can cast a line without actually scouting or worse, working? it may be a bit of a stretch, but i'm willing to grant him clever.
second, unless i miss my guess, given the timbre of the dude's countenance, the "bitch" is most likely his sister, who had to take him in when his mom kicked him out for the fifth and "final" time when she found his basement "meth kitchen". while i'm certain his sister is no saint--again, judging by his countenance--she absolutely does not deserve to be called a "bitch" by the man she took in when their own mother couldn't even take him any more.
third, given my own "love" life, i'd say "hangin" with a "bitch" is far more interesting than waiting for a coldblooded mouthbreather to be fooled by a metal hook floating in the lake. i mean, i'm down with water and trees and nature and all, but i don't get mucha that cuddly bidness, and i ain't about to give any up if i miraculously find some.
"abitmoreover", "lets" tackle the actual "phraseologie".
first, the motive. are punctuation marks more expensive than letters? i'd think the fish in the middle--intricate, though subtle, as it is--would cost more than any simple lettering. maybe commas, periods, apostrophes and their friends are considered gratuitous by the "graffix" community and thus charged for exponentially. having never priced these sorts of "mods" for the subie, i do not at this point know. one other consideration is that there are many choices of just which punctuation one should use: "Ditch the bitch, let's go fishing." "Ditch the bitch! Let's go fishing!" "Ditch the bitch who lets you go fishing; I want to date her!" okay, maybe the last is aslo a stretch, but you "get my drift".
second, the effect. basically, i threw up in my mouth a little.
third, the "vaguity". at this point, including, but not limited to, all the previously mentioned questions, i really don't know what the dude is saying. sure, it could be simple, an encouragement to a friend who's in a bad relationship. the dude could be saying, á la dan savage, "dtmfa". (um, in polite company, "break up with her already.) there could be more complicated messages, such as, "you know, bud, one afternoon a month isn't much to ask. just tell your wife you need an afternoon out with the guys, some cheap tallboys and a fishing pole to reset your psyche." maybe it's a grand "exhortational" to all men to "reclaim their manhood". maybe the dude just never graduated third grade and shouldn't be allowed to drive his tank until he does.
maybe i shouldn't say anything, cos after seeing the decal, i "text discussed" it with my "portland buddy" for a half hour, which, if all the literature and studies and politicians and state patrolmen are to be believed, is more dangerouser than the dude's vagrant illiteracy. maybe, to paraphrase my "portland buddy", i should just "calm down and have some lefse." tasty as that sounds, though, i'd rather be an @$$#()!&.