all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

i've been deleting parts or all of my posts a lot recently. maybe it's the rain "warshing" my bitterness down a little bit. i do have an "outloud bitter" thought: why are gillian welch, buddy miller and chris stapleton all over nashville recordings, but none of their own music, which easily eclipses the bulk of nasheville country, is ever played on nasheville radio?

anyway, my clutch blew out this morning. maybe that's what got my crankypants all atwitter. the best part of this is the timing. i won't miss any work, but i did miss out on getting "freshies" in october. and hadda get all wet and cold in the rain while tryna fix it and failing miserably. (i say miserably cos i was miserable, not cos the failure was any more "epic" than any other i accomplish on a daily basis.) which is why i'm writing this at 2.36 in the afternoon, clad in pajamas and wondering if it's too much effort to put on socks to go into the kitchen to try and find a "snackx".

speaking of "snackx", i'm signed on to provide mechanical support for the WA State Cyclocross Championships in a month. as such, i'm polishing up my pretentiousness, my pretentions and my fake belgiumness. i already genuinely like heady "belgium style" beers, so all i gotta do there is buy a bunch. i like "frites", so maybe i can jack some "potatoe steezx" from my "parentx" and make some aheada time. the problem i'm going to run into with this endeavour is that 'cross folk tend to like things that don't actually work, like tubular tires and cantilever brakes. and riding skinny-tyred road bikes in grass and dirt and--their favourite--mud. and carrying their bikes rather than riding them. they even seek out bikes that are easy to "portage", with top tubes manipulated not to be lighter or faster or stronger or geared (heehee) toward a more comfortable ride, but to not hurt the shoulder that's carrying the bike. to me that's like having a car with wooden wheels, metal straps for tread, a drop chain for a brake, a 2 cylinder "model t" engine but with really big, easily accessible tow brackets. i tend to enjoy riding on nicely made and maintained singletrack trails that feature good drainage--little or no mud--and no grass--ever slipped on wet grass? i do all the time--on bikes equipped with tyres featuring lots of tread--traction--and hydraulic disc brakes--stopping power. i tend to ride my road bike off road only while drunk, something i've been skipping for the last four years. too much damage possible. the other way i differ from "'crossers" is in our idea of what's fun and what's stupid. riding an ill-equipped bike in mud and racing only in fall and winter when the weather sucks and the trails should be left to slowly fix themselves is stupid. riding up to and over your pain threshold is stupid. riding yourself into oxygen debt is stupid. riding a bike that's specifically designed not for ride quality or traction but for "portageability" is stupid. cyclocross is based in all of those things and its disciples rave about how awesome, and indeed fun, every part of it is. they talk about "pure sweet hell" (and make pretentious "films" in black and white and washed out, 70s-quality "colour" called "pure sweet hell") and how all that suffering is "glorious" and how "the muddier, the better". i'm also imagining how a "convo" with a distressed (like the jeans!) 'crossdresser would go:
(them in quotes and me not so much)
"can you help me?"
[me shrugging non-commitally]
"my damn tire fell off!"
maybe you shouldn't rely on your own crappy glue job, or for that matter, glue. i don't glue wheels together when i build them.
"um, okay. but can you put my tire back on?"
nope. not worth my time to learn. people who actually ride bikes don't use tubulars, ergo, i've no experience with them.
"um, okay. what do i do?"
go cry inn your beer?
or
whatzup?
"my brakes don't work."
is it muddy?
"yes."
do you have shitty cantilevers cos you decided a discipline whose arbitrarily arcane and difficult rules useta mandate an archaic brake design was awesome?
"yes."
wait. why do you expect your brakes to work in the first place?
or
"can you make my shifters work?"
are the cables covered completely in mud?
"of course! IT'S 'CROSS SEASON BITCHEZ!!!"
(much like the brake argument.) why do you think your bike will shift?
or
[walking around the pit before the race]
why ain't y'all runnin cascadia fenders? it'd keep you and your bike way cleaner in all this mud and grass. plus they got nice beaver tails to keep the spray down so you don't get anyone behind you all dirty. all them roadies that do the chilly hilly have em. or at least imaginatively beaver-flapped full coverage fenders of some kind. i mean, have you seen what all this shit will do to your drivetrain?
at least i'll have an excuse to get all shitty at 9 in the morning.