so, i've been here for a bit and now i want to fit in. some questions:
.how long do i sit at an empty four way stop waiting for another car to arrive before i can pass through the intersection?
.where can i find more brown for my wardrobe, or do i just go roll in the dirt until everything is the same colour?
.what sort of mean-looking dog is the right dog to compliment my new dreads?
.where can i find a pan flute?
.how long do i hafta practice before i can sit outside the co-op and play?
.how long do i hafta play solo before i can jam wit you guys?
.where's the best spot to find cardboard for my begging sign?
.what's the best tone to take on my begging sign? i'm leaning toward self-satisfied scolding, but can i go further and invoke righteous fury?
.how slow can i walk across crosswalks?
.how big should my "kitzhaber 2010" sign in my apartment window be?
.how massive an electric motor can i put on my thriftstore walmart bike?
maybe if someone can get back to me on this, i'll feel more at ease.
04 August 2011
19 July 2011
subaru counter.
so, now that i am no longer a "hermit", i decided my "wisdom" would be spent better observing other things. namely the amount of subarus in my adopted place of sleepage, ashland, oregon. i forgot to count today, but last wednesday i counted 153 in a five mile loop, a density of just over 30 per mile. i also forgot to accomplish anything today, though the lady and i did sit at the pizza store and critique all the people walking by.
jack nicholson once said, while wearing a ton of weird makeup on his face, "what this town needs is an enema". while that may not be the case here, it certainly needs some cynicism. ima try and find it amongst the miles of dreadlocks and fierce looking dogs owned by the trustafarians living under the bridge. (or maybe i brought enough with me. hope i did.) anyway, ima "embrace the positivity", as a coworker here yelled at a passerby, and go to sleep.
quote from a customer: "hey bro, i'll give you like an extra dollar if you stick it in." i'll let you decide what the hell that means.
jack nicholson once said, while wearing a ton of weird makeup on his face, "what this town needs is an enema". while that may not be the case here, it certainly needs some cynicism. ima try and find it amongst the miles of dreadlocks and fierce looking dogs owned by the trustafarians living under the bridge. (or maybe i brought enough with me. hope i did.) anyway, ima "embrace the positivity", as a coworker here yelled at a passerby, and go to sleep.
quote from a customer: "hey bro, i'll give you like an extra dollar if you stick it in." i'll let you decide what the hell that means.
17 January 2011
donning the cycling cap on a rainy day.
after sleeping for almost thirteen hours to recover from my "epicy" weekend of rain and not much else, i realised i reeeeallly wanneda read bikesnob. which meant i had to perform a few rituals in order to change from my "winter persona" to my "summer persona". first, i took a shower. (d'uh.) then i cleaned the toilet, swept the floor and did the dishes. somewhere in there i listened to the "hit country" option on the downstairs roommate's satellite tv radio and read the daily show's "america". properly readjusted out of the "ski every moment" alignment i spend seven months in, i donned my "dirty cycling cap" and headed to the only coffee shop in greenwater. along the way, i realised today is the fortuitous alignment of TWO anniversaries: the eleven month anniversary of me and the woman next to me, and the four year anniversary of me owning the subie. snocka.
in being out of the loop so far this winter, i realised a couple weeks ago that i missed the seattle seachickens' "rebirth" into a "competitive" football team. apparently "competitve" this year means going 7-9 and still somehow making the playoffs. granted, this is the college bowl m.o., with 7-5 boston college somehow landing a bowl with 12-1 nevada. or 6-6 uw landing a holiday bowl slot with 9-3 nebraska. (and then somehow winning the rematch with a team that previously beat them 709-2.) but still, i din't realise how far the standards of the "professional" football leagues had slipped. you'd think there'd be some provision reading "in the event the NFC Western Division is won by a team with a losing record, there will be Three (3) "wild card" slots rather than the traditional Two (2) "wild card" slots. the third will be filled by "always sunny's" charlie day in the character of charlie "wild card, bitchez!!!" kelly. thus avoiding all the speculations about the "worst playoff team ever" or the possibility of a "seismic" run by marshawn lynch." anyway.
in walking around last night, we confirmed that when it rains a lot, there's a lot of water tryna find the low ground. i also found out that rain is cool. and makes me sleep a lot. peace.
in being out of the loop so far this winter, i realised a couple weeks ago that i missed the seattle seachickens' "rebirth" into a "competitive" football team. apparently "competitve" this year means going 7-9 and still somehow making the playoffs. granted, this is the college bowl m.o., with 7-5 boston college somehow landing a bowl with 12-1 nevada. or 6-6 uw landing a holiday bowl slot with 9-3 nebraska. (and then somehow winning the rematch with a team that previously beat them 709-2.) but still, i din't realise how far the standards of the "professional" football leagues had slipped. you'd think there'd be some provision reading "in the event the NFC Western Division is won by a team with a losing record, there will be Three (3) "wild card" slots rather than the traditional Two (2) "wild card" slots. the third will be filled by "always sunny's" charlie day in the character of charlie "wild card, bitchez!!!" kelly. thus avoiding all the speculations about the "worst playoff team ever" or the possibility of a "seismic" run by marshawn lynch." anyway.
in walking around last night, we confirmed that when it rains a lot, there's a lot of water tryna find the low ground. i also found out that rain is cool. and makes me sleep a lot. peace.
29 November 2010
140 is the new 90.
some important news headlines, brought to you by yahoo.com:
.lady gaga weeps at show.
.victoria's secret workouts.
.player blames higher power for mistake.
.fiji water leaves fiji.
now, i'm always interested in learning new things. i, for one, did not know that queen victoria had secret workouts. nor did i know that she was still alive. i was under the impression that she had died in 1901. apparently i was wrong.
secondly, i was also under the impression that fiji water has been leaving fiji for quite some time. i have been able to purchase it in "better" grocers for many years. not sure how this is news.
thirdly, i have no idea who lady gaga is. apparently babies are making records.
fourthly, blaming higher powers for mistakes is nothing new, either. most wars in recorded history have been fought under the same auspices.
some important news headlines, brought to you by king5:
.HS Football 2A Semifinals: Tumwater 63, E. Valley 27. ouch!
.La Nina: Be prepared for a harsher winter. let me trasnlate: "Ranina: გთხოვთ მომზადდეს ზამთარში, "განაცხადა მან."
.men growing moustaches for cancer awareness. now THERE'S some news i can relate to. i'm growing my moustache for awesomeness awareness!
.the fortysomething report: stop rudeness at the source. i din't realise "rudeness" was a quality of being "fortysomething". (or is it "fortisomething"?)
some important news headlines, brought to you by the hermit club:
.i'm not wearing socks.
.nor am i wearing underpants. i am wearing pajamas, however.
.i took a shower. i got clean. i used shampoo cos we are out of soap and are moving tomorrow to a new place where i have already been showering and as such have soap and don't want to buy soap for one place when i have soap at the other.
.there are sixteen tacks on the table next to me, all face down, sticker point up.
.i can make the door open and close almost imperceptibly by bouncing up and down on the exercise ball we're using for a computer chair cos it helps my back.
.a ski instructor offered me some poppy seed loaf he claimed would make me feel like i took acid. i declined. he claimed that the "combonation" of poppy and thc would do the trick.
.i shaved my face.
.for a little bit, the internet went haywire. then it stopped being haywire and started being normal again.
.i have skied approximately 905 days in the eleven seasons since since high school. i've been slacking the last six seasons, though, cos my first five i averaged 100 days a year.
anyway, it's been a slow day. i have my "Albertsons Preferred SAVINGS CARD" so things are looking up.
.lady gaga weeps at show.
.victoria's secret workouts.
.player blames higher power for mistake.
.fiji water leaves fiji.
now, i'm always interested in learning new things. i, for one, did not know that queen victoria had secret workouts. nor did i know that she was still alive. i was under the impression that she had died in 1901. apparently i was wrong.
secondly, i was also under the impression that fiji water has been leaving fiji for quite some time. i have been able to purchase it in "better" grocers for many years. not sure how this is news.
thirdly, i have no idea who lady gaga is. apparently babies are making records.
fourthly, blaming higher powers for mistakes is nothing new, either. most wars in recorded history have been fought under the same auspices.
some important news headlines, brought to you by king5:
.HS Football 2A Semifinals: Tumwater 63, E. Valley 27. ouch!
.La Nina: Be prepared for a harsher winter. let me trasnlate: "Ranina: გთხოვთ მომზადდეს ზამთარში, "განაცხადა მან."
.men growing moustaches for cancer awareness. now THERE'S some news i can relate to. i'm growing my moustache for awesomeness awareness!
.the fortysomething report: stop rudeness at the source. i din't realise "rudeness" was a quality of being "fortysomething". (or is it "fortisomething"?)
some important news headlines, brought to you by the hermit club:
.i'm not wearing socks.
.nor am i wearing underpants. i am wearing pajamas, however.
.i took a shower. i got clean. i used shampoo cos we are out of soap and are moving tomorrow to a new place where i have already been showering and as such have soap and don't want to buy soap for one place when i have soap at the other.
.there are sixteen tacks on the table next to me, all face down, sticker point up.
.i can make the door open and close almost imperceptibly by bouncing up and down on the exercise ball we're using for a computer chair cos it helps my back.
.a ski instructor offered me some poppy seed loaf he claimed would make me feel like i took acid. i declined. he claimed that the "combonation" of poppy and thc would do the trick.
.i shaved my face.
.for a little bit, the internet went haywire. then it stopped being haywire and started being normal again.
.i have skied approximately 905 days in the eleven seasons since since high school. i've been slacking the last six seasons, though, cos my first five i averaged 100 days a year.
anyway, it's been a slow day. i have my "Albertsons Preferred SAVINGS CARD" so things are looking up.
22 November 2010
i'm sposeta be doing the dishes.
in really big news, the ground here around the "fram" is white. not from my dandruff, or anything, but from actual snow. the roads are a kinda "glazed doughnut" surface in spots where it hasn't been plowed and de-iced. heads is trippin, if you will. the forecast for this afternoon is "Snow. 27 around 17:00 temperatures fall later. Breezy, making 23 miles per hour between north and 20 miles northwest of 11-8 per hour winds east-southeast. 100% chance of rain. Susugi Tsumoru Sun 4-2 inches possible in total." for tomorrow: "sunny". i don't know if that's possible. this whole "snow" story has LEGS, bitchez! ima report it to death before it gets warm again. (sorry. some kiro-tv producers just hijacked my brain for a minute.)
in smaller news, i ate a lot last night. had some beer. it was fun. now i'm in my pajamas at 12.04 in the afternoon. on the way to tacoma from the hill last night i bought some "comfortsoft waistband™ premium boxer briefs" that feel kinda like pajamas, too. i like them, as long as i don't look at how unflattering they are. they kinda accentuate my "norwegianness".
also, crystal opened last friday on 16" of snow. that fell on top of the dirt. there were angry customers. i had a few who demanded free repairs. as though i had pulled them outa bed at gunpoint and demanded that they head to the hills and ski uncovered pitches on opening day. shrug. it was kinda funny.
(um, i think i got hijacked again.)
the world is gonna end. it's snowing so hard i can't pee. i'm going to stick my four hundred dollar snow boot in that three inches of snow to show you just how dangerous it is out there. don't go outside or the sky will fall on you. did i mention it's really cold and windy and snowy? it so snowy that it's white on the ground. leave everything to the experts or you'll all die.
(ah! got control back. them pesky news reporters.)
anyway, i think my work here is done.
in smaller news, i ate a lot last night. had some beer. it was fun. now i'm in my pajamas at 12.04 in the afternoon. on the way to tacoma from the hill last night i bought some "comfortsoft waistband™ premium boxer briefs" that feel kinda like pajamas, too. i like them, as long as i don't look at how unflattering they are. they kinda accentuate my "norwegianness".
also, crystal opened last friday on 16" of snow. that fell on top of the dirt. there were angry customers. i had a few who demanded free repairs. as though i had pulled them outa bed at gunpoint and demanded that they head to the hills and ski uncovered pitches on opening day. shrug. it was kinda funny.
(um, i think i got hijacked again.)
the world is gonna end. it's snowing so hard i can't pee. i'm going to stick my four hundred dollar snow boot in that three inches of snow to show you just how dangerous it is out there. don't go outside or the sky will fall on you. did i mention it's really cold and windy and snowy? it so snowy that it's white on the ground. leave everything to the experts or you'll all die.
(ah! got control back. them pesky news reporters.)
anyway, i think my work here is done.
17 November 2010
The Way I See It.
the heads at crystal are tryna open this weekend based on a forecast that is already completely wrong. baker got snow, the lowlands got rain, alpy got snow, and there's four inches on the ground at crystal. hm.
with that, a full description of my day:
.woke up ready to go skiing.
.thought about skiing.
.went to go skiing, but first perused the avalanche centre's telemetry for chinook, saw that nothing had happened, but decided to hope for the best.
.should have perused the DOT site.
.thought about skiing.
.did not peruse the DOT site.
.got to buckley and saw the chinook pass distance covered by a "closed" sign.
.thought about skiing.
.thought that maybe that sign was left up from when it closed temporarily back in october.
.thought about skiing.
.got coffee.
.saw the signs in enumclaw that said "passes closed" and swore a bit.
.maybe punched the steering wheel. then the subie kinda chugged and wouldn't accelerate for a couple miles.
.got to the bottom of the boulevard as the ranger was securing the "closed for the winter" lock on the park gate. almost got out and called him unprintable names.
.got to the shop to tune a pair of skis and found that the power was out, negating the rest of my reasoning for going into the mountains in the first place.
.turned around and drove back home.
.thought about skiing.
.got distracted at the borders by ski and bike magazines.
.drove the rest of the way home.
.checked the clock--1.45 pm.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forecast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the clock--1.47 pm.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at mt baker's snow report. decided that this is the only time of year howat isn't a complete idiot.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at the crystal snow report. tiana claims we'll get forty fkn inches by friday. so far we've got about ten. with no more storms coming. weird.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.took a shower. not cos i was dirty or sweaty, but cos it's what i do when i'm bored.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.got food.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some more extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.peeled shallots. found out that they fit under the "onion" apron when it comes to teary eyes.
.thought about skiing.
.burned the leftover bacon that was in the pan.
.drank a beer.
.started sautéeing asparagus.
.thought about skiing.
.found out that one shouldn't put cayenne pepper in a hot skillet. and that it really hurts the eyes. and makes you cough. and your roommate disappear.
.undercooked the sausage.
.ate abuncha food. actually, despite the fuckups, it was awesome.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer and ate chocolate (nature's recompense for a severe lack of snow).
.forgot whatever the hell it was i set out to do in life.
with that, a full description of my day:
.woke up ready to go skiing.
.thought about skiing.
.went to go skiing, but first perused the avalanche centre's telemetry for chinook, saw that nothing had happened, but decided to hope for the best.
.should have perused the DOT site.
.thought about skiing.
.did not peruse the DOT site.
.got to buckley and saw the chinook pass distance covered by a "closed" sign.
.thought about skiing.
.thought that maybe that sign was left up from when it closed temporarily back in october.
.thought about skiing.
.got coffee.
.saw the signs in enumclaw that said "passes closed" and swore a bit.
.maybe punched the steering wheel. then the subie kinda chugged and wouldn't accelerate for a couple miles.
.got to the bottom of the boulevard as the ranger was securing the "closed for the winter" lock on the park gate. almost got out and called him unprintable names.
.got to the shop to tune a pair of skis and found that the power was out, negating the rest of my reasoning for going into the mountains in the first place.
.turned around and drove back home.
.thought about skiing.
.got distracted at the borders by ski and bike magazines.
.drove the rest of the way home.
.checked the clock--1.45 pm.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forecast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the clock--1.47 pm.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at mt baker's snow report. decided that this is the only time of year howat isn't a complete idiot.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at the crystal snow report. tiana claims we'll get forty fkn inches by friday. so far we've got about ten. with no more storms coming. weird.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.took a shower. not cos i was dirty or sweaty, but cos it's what i do when i'm bored.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.got food.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some more extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.peeled shallots. found out that they fit under the "onion" apron when it comes to teary eyes.
.thought about skiing.
.burned the leftover bacon that was in the pan.
.drank a beer.
.started sautéeing asparagus.
.thought about skiing.
.found out that one shouldn't put cayenne pepper in a hot skillet. and that it really hurts the eyes. and makes you cough. and your roommate disappear.
.undercooked the sausage.
.ate abuncha food. actually, despite the fuckups, it was awesome.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer and ate chocolate (nature's recompense for a severe lack of snow).
.forgot whatever the hell it was i set out to do in life.
16 November 2010
The low reliability of time.
in other news, it's sposeta snow all kinda tomorrow and tomorrow night. like almost two feet. granted, the upper silver creek drainage might get skipped as it often does, but still. the weather service is calling it a "winter storm watch". i like the sound of that. here's some more "traslation" of their forecast discussion:
"Short ... 50N 135W near being connected to enhance Low
KT is a strong 170 300 Megabaitomoderu jet trails that appear to develop
Lower system Megabaitoofupiku 980 985 ~ south Charlottes
Before Korea have declined in a way that you are abroad
Waters. Rain and mountain snow will accompany the front lines of this system
Early spread of water and land
Water, 12 hour reception 18Z QPF, and travels through Western Washington
At the level of the surrounding snow generally from 1.0 to 1.5 inches in the Cascade
That is 3000 feet, cascading look Winter Storm Warning
Good. In a short period of flow, detailed post-westerly winds may click here to keep
Go to the Cascades snow Wed night"
there is also mention of "modified arctic air", which always causes the tv weatherheads to go apeshit and start calling for "arctic blast 2010", which is fun to watch if a bit repetitive. i mean, there are "arctic blasts" every year or two, and none of us die aside from some incredible dumbasses who cook on charcoal grills in the kitchen. but hey! free entertainment!
here's some more:
"It is within a vicinity of the North wind along the coast and GET
The front will move through it. However, the strength of the jet ... read
In the northern interior of the frontal air must appear SELY
Jasutosutei under advisory level, the wind. POST west front of the Sun
Afternoon and evening that it expects the number of lighter
Wed night experience.
We break the soil between the front of the family is likely Wednesday
Low water and energy offshore wound. The AP
Please refer to the cloud ... luckily ... maybe some showers and SUNBREAKS ...
Yo 40s temperatures."
this is just too fun.
"GFS solution of southwest WA abeam considered low attenuation's
Beach Friday night, you will need to allow some of the cool air it
WA W bulb development in Western Canada is cold to instill 却湿
Moderate to low flow temperatures, the light of the AT 850 NELY
The ORDER - 3C is - 5C in the ON MB may cause some mixed precipitation
If it is heavy enough. Friday ... GFS has shows around the region
The Bellingham, E slopes of the Olympics ... and the universe ... Kanarufudo
Kitts Peninsula is likely to please see some snow. Temperature
It just closed. Continuing uncertainty around people ...
You must continually monitor the prediction that the area involved.
The low reliability of time. Albrecht
. Long-term debate over the long term, as follows: ... before ... there seems to be
Be sure to extend at least two lanes of snow. One is just that
Parking on the lower left of the cold air associated with the deep
Western Washington. Could easily have a few snow showers and rain all
Components. Beginning of a slump Friday night every night
Low in the mid 30s. Opportunity to use the bath, such as rain and snow
The text is mostly extended.
The second method, the revised polar involves passing an AIR OUT
Canada. Euro and GFS are not particularly strong
Brings cold air south ... but it remains possible. In this case,
The cold air mass will be enough snow for sure. However,
You can push all the clouds just outside the area of cold air.
The model also results, the first hint that a second display
We are both very dry. Any certainty, the fact that there
Rain and snow are expected Burodoburashichansu rain.
WHILE GFS euro Tuesday starting to heat from a number of things
I rely on the state towards the euro on Tuesday. Lightning"
wow. now we're cooking with SELY Jasutosutei.
"Short ... 50N 135W near being connected to enhance Low
KT is a strong 170 300 Megabaitomoderu jet trails that appear to develop
Lower system Megabaitoofupiku 980 985 ~ south Charlottes
Before Korea have declined in a way that you are abroad
Waters. Rain and mountain snow will accompany the front lines of this system
Early spread of water and land
Water, 12 hour reception 18Z QPF, and travels through Western Washington
At the level of the surrounding snow generally from 1.0 to 1.5 inches in the Cascade
That is 3000 feet, cascading look Winter Storm Warning
Good. In a short period of flow, detailed post-westerly winds may click here to keep
Go to the Cascades snow Wed night"
there is also mention of "modified arctic air", which always causes the tv weatherheads to go apeshit and start calling for "arctic blast 2010", which is fun to watch if a bit repetitive. i mean, there are "arctic blasts" every year or two, and none of us die aside from some incredible dumbasses who cook on charcoal grills in the kitchen. but hey! free entertainment!
here's some more:
"It is within a vicinity of the North wind along the coast and GET
The front will move through it. However, the strength of the jet ... read
In the northern interior of the frontal air must appear SELY
Jasutosutei under advisory level, the wind. POST west front of the Sun
Afternoon and evening that it expects the number of lighter
Wed night experience.
We break the soil between the front of the family is likely Wednesday
Low water and energy offshore wound. The AP
Please refer to the cloud ... luckily ... maybe some showers and SUNBREAKS ...
Yo 40s temperatures."
this is just too fun.
"GFS solution of southwest WA abeam considered low attenuation's
Beach Friday night, you will need to allow some of the cool air it
WA W bulb development in Western Canada is cold to instill 却湿
Moderate to low flow temperatures, the light of the AT 850 NELY
The ORDER - 3C is - 5C in the ON MB may cause some mixed precipitation
If it is heavy enough. Friday ... GFS has shows around the region
The Bellingham, E slopes of the Olympics ... and the universe ... Kanarufudo
Kitts Peninsula is likely to please see some snow. Temperature
It just closed. Continuing uncertainty around people ...
You must continually monitor the prediction that the area involved.
The low reliability of time. Albrecht
. Long-term debate over the long term, as follows: ... before ... there seems to be
Be sure to extend at least two lanes of snow. One is just that
Parking on the lower left of the cold air associated with the deep
Western Washington. Could easily have a few snow showers and rain all
Components. Beginning of a slump Friday night every night
Low in the mid 30s. Opportunity to use the bath, such as rain and snow
The text is mostly extended.
The second method, the revised polar involves passing an AIR OUT
Canada. Euro and GFS are not particularly strong
Brings cold air south ... but it remains possible. In this case,
The cold air mass will be enough snow for sure. However,
You can push all the clouds just outside the area of cold air.
The model also results, the first hint that a second display
We are both very dry. Any certainty, the fact that there
Rain and snow are expected Burodoburashichansu rain.
WHILE GFS euro Tuesday starting to heat from a number of things
I rely on the state towards the euro on Tuesday. Lightning"
wow. now we're cooking with SELY Jasutosutei.
15 November 2010
i can't grow up cos i'm too old now.
today's another exciting day here on the "fram". day one of true unemployment, though whether i've really ever been "employed" is subject to debate. digging 1000 to 2000 cubic holes for tower footings "backinaday" may have been "real work", though i ain't sure i really attacked it the way i was supposed to. i really just enjoyed rolling rocks down the hill and watching where they went, even when we were sposeta keep all the spoils by the footing for backfill. i worked at the safeway pushing carts for two years, which most teenagers think of as real work, but i started at twenny and kept at it until they got tired of having the bald guy doing sixteen year olds' work and gave me a checkstand. the only time checking was hard was when i'd done a tuesday overnight price changing shift, skied my brains out wednesday, worked at crystal thursday and then gone back to the safeway thursday evening for a checking shift. pumpimg gas in high school was more just getting paid to do my homework and write poetry and check out the women driving by. while a liftie i sometimes hadda dig a buncha snow, but in the end, i averaged two hours a day skiing and really just stood there making sure no one ate shit on my ramp. long story short, i don't hafta work for the foreseeable future.
that said, i'm checking the noaa forecast discussions every few hours just in case. a "translation" of this follows:
"... Today is the front format, will be applied during rain and cool
The system moved west to Washington. Tonight, as applied wind
Developed a strong pressure gradient. Articles After calming
Tuesday ... more aggressive system will bring rain and snow on the mountain
Wednesday, Wednesday night. Cold weather and a chance
Precipitation is expected late this weekend."
i'm also arranging the "iTunes" bidness on this mac. there's abuncha songs that are, according to kris kristofferson, most definitely "country", and yet, according to "iTunes", are "rock", "pop" or "folk". shame. shit needa be right, yo!! so i'm puttin in my time.
in other news, i totally just slayed a "muga" righteous "raspberry zinger tea". this takes some serious concentration. "raspberry zinger" is the "rye whiskey of herbal teas", as you may well know. very aggressive, with a subtle tang off the back. just a hint of argentine malbec with a cliff lee curveball of oats 'n hunny. maybe a smack'em of toasted almonds.
speaking of malbec, saturday the ballard qfc was hosting an "open house", which really just consisted of lots of free food. if you din't already guess, i'm down with free food. qfc was my "goto" for lunch this summer, entirely cos a the free cheese samples out by the southwest entrance. at any rate, the head sommelier was giving out free one-ounce shots of four types of wine, of which i tried two. the first was a "layer cake malbec". (mid-length aside--i just checked how to spell "sommelier", and i found two differing opinions. one of them was a dude reviewing, oddly enough, a "layer cake shiraz", which was one of the options being flogged by the qfc dude. the blogger claimed to "know what a sommalier is and even how to spell it", but the other opinion was none other than the "free merriam-webster dictionary", which, though i am wrong every day, i think would be more right than some random dude, and it said "sommelier". anyway.) the second was some other kind i don't remember. two ounces of wine and i was done. not drunk or anything, but done with wine for another year. there were also more cheeses and all kinda random shit layed out, including "eggnog" that was more 7UP and ice cream than anything else (a very good thing) and some random layer cake. (again with the stretched connections.) we almost had our fill right there, but we also got some sushi from the "bar", something i've been warned against by three coworkers, yet i continue to do for a couple reasons: 1) i have a cast-iron stomach and 2) i could give a shit about "pure" sushi. the stuff at qfc tastes real good despite all the pretentions to the contrary.
in other other news, my back has been flooded for about two weeks. i had it licked, almost, but yesterday i slept in about two hours too long and now i hafta go through a routine of a long walk, heat, massage and stretching before it loosens up enough not suck entirely. this gettin old shit is gettin old.
maybe i needa take a book outa the charlie kelly bible and start drinkin beer, sniffin glue and eatin cat food before bed so i can get sick and fall asleep and forget my "problems".
that said, i'm checking the noaa forecast discussions every few hours just in case. a "translation" of this follows:
"... Today is the front format, will be applied during rain and cool
The system moved west to Washington. Tonight, as applied wind
Developed a strong pressure gradient. Articles After calming
Tuesday ... more aggressive system will bring rain and snow on the mountain
Wednesday, Wednesday night. Cold weather and a chance
Precipitation is expected late this weekend."
i'm also arranging the "iTunes" bidness on this mac. there's abuncha songs that are, according to kris kristofferson, most definitely "country", and yet, according to "iTunes", are "rock", "pop" or "folk". shame. shit needa be right, yo!! so i'm puttin in my time.
in other news, i totally just slayed a "muga" righteous "raspberry zinger tea". this takes some serious concentration. "raspberry zinger" is the "rye whiskey of herbal teas", as you may well know. very aggressive, with a subtle tang off the back. just a hint of argentine malbec with a cliff lee curveball of oats 'n hunny. maybe a smack'em of toasted almonds.
speaking of malbec, saturday the ballard qfc was hosting an "open house", which really just consisted of lots of free food. if you din't already guess, i'm down with free food. qfc was my "goto" for lunch this summer, entirely cos a the free cheese samples out by the southwest entrance. at any rate, the head sommelier was giving out free one-ounce shots of four types of wine, of which i tried two. the first was a "layer cake malbec". (mid-length aside--i just checked how to spell "sommelier", and i found two differing opinions. one of them was a dude reviewing, oddly enough, a "layer cake shiraz", which was one of the options being flogged by the qfc dude. the blogger claimed to "know what a sommalier is and even how to spell it", but the other opinion was none other than the "free merriam-webster dictionary", which, though i am wrong every day, i think would be more right than some random dude, and it said "sommelier". anyway.) the second was some other kind i don't remember. two ounces of wine and i was done. not drunk or anything, but done with wine for another year. there were also more cheeses and all kinda random shit layed out, including "eggnog" that was more 7UP and ice cream than anything else (a very good thing) and some random layer cake. (again with the stretched connections.) we almost had our fill right there, but we also got some sushi from the "bar", something i've been warned against by three coworkers, yet i continue to do for a couple reasons: 1) i have a cast-iron stomach and 2) i could give a shit about "pure" sushi. the stuff at qfc tastes real good despite all the pretentions to the contrary.
in other other news, my back has been flooded for about two weeks. i had it licked, almost, but yesterday i slept in about two hours too long and now i hafta go through a routine of a long walk, heat, massage and stretching before it loosens up enough not suck entirely. this gettin old shit is gettin old.
maybe i needa take a book outa the charlie kelly bible and start drinkin beer, sniffin glue and eatin cat food before bed so i can get sick and fall asleep and forget my "problems".
11 November 2010
waiting time again.
as is the wont of cascade weather patterns most novembers, it's not snowing. the air is cold and wet, the clouds are rolling along briskly--and most importanly, not stopping--and as such, it seems like it should be snowing, and maybe it is somewhere, but not here. in alignment with this somewhat contradictory weather, i am, even as a skier, kinda happy. i will be out of work until it snows, and i totally could use a few days off. i've been geetting paid to hold up benches for over 12 months straight, and dammit, i need a rest!!! it's hard work convincing people that turning barrel adjusters and pushing skis through machines (that do all the work) is hard work. i hafta get myself all dirty and sweaty so they think i'm "getting a lot done" when i reality, all i'm doing is getting a free season pass and cheap bike parts. with all my prairie lutheran guilt, you'd think i'd care about this poorly crafted "career", but i don't. i'm worth way the heck more than 15 bucks and hour, as my alter-ego can attest. in the land of my dreams, experienced ski/bike mechanics earn $30+ an hour, have free health care, get paid to go to "shamrock finding school", have grapes fed to them by naked slaves and ski all day without getting tired. oh, they also get weekly "makeovers" from that one chick who hosts "america's next top model". and wear patagucci flannels that are pre-distressed so that they can look even more "authenticated".
in other news, today is moving day #2 of who-knows-how-many. we are moving a bed and some other "schtuff" that requires use of my father's pickup truck,
"lucky", which has satellite radio and everything. i totally dig the idea of four different country stations who, in stark contrast to the state of seattle "radio", all play remarkably different styles of country and as such DON'T REPEAT EACH OTHER EVERY TWELVE MINUTES. it's kinda nice. i can hear justin townes earle and flatt&scruggs and dwight yokum and brad paisley all at once. i don't know why i'd need to, but the oportunity's there.
driving to "psp"--no, not the sony "portable entertainment system", but the pizza joint in the "vast" "opera district" of tacoma--last night i saw a sign for a stove and fireplace store. it has an electronic scroller sign that they never have scroll which causes them to only be able to post two words that they hope draw the customers in. last night's post was "wood insert". while i know what they meant, i almost fell out of the car laughing. i guess we're all looking to hard for that kinda joke. my roommate's answer was "that's what she said". oops. or as a more "pc" version (not a "mac" version, obviously) goes, "someone said it". i don't even know what that means.
in other news, today is moving day #2 of who-knows-how-many. we are moving a bed and some other "schtuff" that requires use of my father's pickup truck,
"lucky", which has satellite radio and everything. i totally dig the idea of four different country stations who, in stark contrast to the state of seattle "radio", all play remarkably different styles of country and as such DON'T REPEAT EACH OTHER EVERY TWELVE MINUTES. it's kinda nice. i can hear justin townes earle and flatt&scruggs and dwight yokum and brad paisley all at once. i don't know why i'd need to, but the oportunity's there.
driving to "psp"--no, not the sony "portable entertainment system", but the pizza joint in the "vast" "opera district" of tacoma--last night i saw a sign for a stove and fireplace store. it has an electronic scroller sign that they never have scroll which causes them to only be able to post two words that they hope draw the customers in. last night's post was "wood insert". while i know what they meant, i almost fell out of the car laughing. i guess we're all looking to hard for that kinda joke. my roommate's answer was "that's what she said". oops. or as a more "pc" version (not a "mac" version, obviously) goes, "someone said it". i don't even know what that means.
01 November 2010
what is following?
so, at the bottom of the "blogger dashboard", there's a button that reads "what is following?" while i din't bother to read what it said, i do have a good idea. however, ima hafta make up the definition cos the oxford english dictionary, "the definitive record of the english 'languish'", is available by "prescription" only. sounds like pre-gutenburg bible times.
following: verb, present tense, meaning to take other people's steeze by an underhanded nature. as in "i am following that peewee herman guy. he's got righteous style!! i like big forks."
anyway, it's raining, and as such, i'm burning lots of calories just being awake. to sate my needs, i'm schralping energy foods samples from the "interbike" festivities back in september. the first was a "stroopwafel" made by "honey stinger" and flogged on the packaging by none other than lance "trek-livestrong" armstrong. it had a pleasant cookie taste and somewhat gooey texture, waffle shaped, yes, but not at all like a stereotypical "belgian" waffle. (or, i should say, an american belgian waffle.) from which i garnished 160 calories and 4% of my iron for the day. no anemia for this sami! (incidently, there's an association of stroopwafel addicts.)
the second was a "NOWtm NO OPPORTUNITY WASTED ENERGY BAR". flogged by PHIL KEOGHAN Host of The Amazing Race. it tasted like an amalgamation of too much stuff, resulting in a kinda neutral ickiness. it is, however, "Powered by WITH NEW ZEALAND MANUKA HONEY WONDER PRODUCT". written in that annoying circular overlay that's meant to be read middle last, for effect. i know it's sposeta read "with new zealand wonder product, MANUKA HONEY", but i refuse to do that.
totally productive morning.
in other news, my roommate of the last month just left to grab the bus to taiwan. i'm conflicted about this. on the one hand, i've only known him a month, but on the other hand, i feel like i know him fairly well for my being someone who hates to get to know people. i can't imagine what it's like to walk out of a house in rural not-quite-tacompton and grab a bus and by the end of the day be not only in crowded, industrialised taiwan, but also in the future. seems like such a mindfuck that i have know way of understanding it. or even conceiving of it adequately. i imagine it's like dying. or going into a coma. one night you're hanging out with friends and the next night it's actually two nights later and no one around you speaks the same language and the maple tree that's shedding it's leaves rapidly in the heavy november downpour is gone, replaced by, what? i don't even know. my self-serving lesson is to never leave the country. or at least to never end up in such a starkly different place. i'm sure it's a symptom of my lack of desire for growth, but i'm happy not breaking too far outa my comfort zone. i also have no desire to visit chicago. or la. or nyc. or seattle, for that matter. i'm happy living in places with pastures or rivers or open spaces for back yards. i like have elk stare me down while i'm eating my cereal in the kitchen. i like hearing about a wolverine that my boss saw out his window before work. i like seeing cows and hearing chickens and watching the trees shed their leaves on open ground and having a good view from my bedroom that doesn't include another house. i liked growing up on a farm and hope that one day, if i ever have kids myself, they will enjoy the same sort of childhood i got to have. there's a kid who frequents the shop in ballard who knows most of the clerks at qfc by name. he seems so damn bored. all he has is a bike and some pavement. i had dirt and grass and trees and pasture and a huge, largely undeveloped neighbourhood. only a few country roads splitting the properties up. we could roam for miles and still be around people we knew from school. i don't know how anyone can live in a city, and yet so many people follow so many other people straight in. i feel like there's this bank of lockers surrounding the city, and when you move in permanently, you hafta put something of yourself in one, and forget it until you move out again. i think i put my control over my anger in the bank when i moved in this summer, and have since got it back after moving out. i don't plan on losing it again.
if i stare at the clouds long enough, i can make out the shades of gray whipping past. they are largely unbroken, in that november in washington way where you know it ain't gonna stop raining for a long time. and it's gonna keep raining hard while it's at it. fine with me. i ain't gonna do shit today, and ima like it!!!!
following: verb, present tense, meaning to take other people's steeze by an underhanded nature. as in "i am following that peewee herman guy. he's got righteous style!! i like big forks."
anyway, it's raining, and as such, i'm burning lots of calories just being awake. to sate my needs, i'm schralping energy foods samples from the "interbike" festivities back in september. the first was a "stroopwafel" made by "honey stinger" and flogged on the packaging by none other than lance "trek-livestrong" armstrong. it had a pleasant cookie taste and somewhat gooey texture, waffle shaped, yes, but not at all like a stereotypical "belgian" waffle. (or, i should say, an american belgian waffle.) from which i garnished 160 calories and 4% of my iron for the day. no anemia for this sami! (incidently, there's an association of stroopwafel addicts.)
the second was a "NOWtm NO OPPORTUNITY WASTED ENERGY BAR". flogged by PHIL KEOGHAN Host of The Amazing Race. it tasted like an amalgamation of too much stuff, resulting in a kinda neutral ickiness. it is, however, "Powered by WITH NEW ZEALAND MANUKA HONEY WONDER PRODUCT". written in that annoying circular overlay that's meant to be read middle last, for effect. i know it's sposeta read "with new zealand wonder product, MANUKA HONEY", but i refuse to do that.
totally productive morning.
in other news, my roommate of the last month just left to grab the bus to taiwan. i'm conflicted about this. on the one hand, i've only known him a month, but on the other hand, i feel like i know him fairly well for my being someone who hates to get to know people. i can't imagine what it's like to walk out of a house in rural not-quite-tacompton and grab a bus and by the end of the day be not only in crowded, industrialised taiwan, but also in the future. seems like such a mindfuck that i have know way of understanding it. or even conceiving of it adequately. i imagine it's like dying. or going into a coma. one night you're hanging out with friends and the next night it's actually two nights later and no one around you speaks the same language and the maple tree that's shedding it's leaves rapidly in the heavy november downpour is gone, replaced by, what? i don't even know. my self-serving lesson is to never leave the country. or at least to never end up in such a starkly different place. i'm sure it's a symptom of my lack of desire for growth, but i'm happy not breaking too far outa my comfort zone. i also have no desire to visit chicago. or la. or nyc. or seattle, for that matter. i'm happy living in places with pastures or rivers or open spaces for back yards. i like have elk stare me down while i'm eating my cereal in the kitchen. i like hearing about a wolverine that my boss saw out his window before work. i like seeing cows and hearing chickens and watching the trees shed their leaves on open ground and having a good view from my bedroom that doesn't include another house. i liked growing up on a farm and hope that one day, if i ever have kids myself, they will enjoy the same sort of childhood i got to have. there's a kid who frequents the shop in ballard who knows most of the clerks at qfc by name. he seems so damn bored. all he has is a bike and some pavement. i had dirt and grass and trees and pasture and a huge, largely undeveloped neighbourhood. only a few country roads splitting the properties up. we could roam for miles and still be around people we knew from school. i don't know how anyone can live in a city, and yet so many people follow so many other people straight in. i feel like there's this bank of lockers surrounding the city, and when you move in permanently, you hafta put something of yourself in one, and forget it until you move out again. i think i put my control over my anger in the bank when i moved in this summer, and have since got it back after moving out. i don't plan on losing it again.
if i stare at the clouds long enough, i can make out the shades of gray whipping past. they are largely unbroken, in that november in washington way where you know it ain't gonna stop raining for a long time. and it's gonna keep raining hard while it's at it. fine with me. i ain't gonna do shit today, and ima like it!!!!
30 October 2010
whisky on a sunday.
tricked ya. nothing to see here.
although. . .
my roommate was asked an interesting question by a kid at work today: "have you ever gotten so soaked that you fell asleep?"
now, i'm assuming that he means soaking wet, as most children ar sorta innocent and as such, don't know too many multiple-meaning phraseologies or terms, but it's possible that the child's parents refer to a state of drunkenness as "soaked". in which case, the child would seem prescient when he asked "Since you have you've been immersed in sleeping?" OR, he could be speaking of fiscal "soaking". i am most definitely guilty of sleeping away my financial woes. most certainly, if that is the case, if this mythical child were to ask me "Because now you have been immersed in the bed?" i'd hafta say "yes".
of course, my roommate reports that the child in question was staring absent-mindedly at the rain, so, most likely anyway, he was speaking very literally. and no, i have not been "so soaked that [i] fell asleep".
i am, however, ready for bed, and will fall in shortly. tired, two beers and some cheesecake my coworker made (while stoned off his gourd at 4 am this morning) for my last weekend in ballard. "Immersed in your bed?" why, yes!!
confidential to "cx weight weenie in gloucester": most cyclocrossers wear their girlfriend's underpants.
or as the popular search engine would have me say, through macedonian and japanese, "cyclocrossers wear most of the girls in their pants."
although. . .
my roommate was asked an interesting question by a kid at work today: "have you ever gotten so soaked that you fell asleep?"
now, i'm assuming that he means soaking wet, as most children ar sorta innocent and as such, don't know too many multiple-meaning phraseologies or terms, but it's possible that the child's parents refer to a state of drunkenness as "soaked". in which case, the child would seem prescient when he asked "Since you have you've been immersed in sleeping?" OR, he could be speaking of fiscal "soaking". i am most definitely guilty of sleeping away my financial woes. most certainly, if that is the case, if this mythical child were to ask me "Because now you have been immersed in the bed?" i'd hafta say "yes".
of course, my roommate reports that the child in question was staring absent-mindedly at the rain, so, most likely anyway, he was speaking very literally. and no, i have not been "so soaked that [i] fell asleep".
i am, however, ready for bed, and will fall in shortly. tired, two beers and some cheesecake my coworker made (while stoned off his gourd at 4 am this morning) for my last weekend in ballard. "Immersed in your bed?" why, yes!!
confidential to "cx weight weenie in gloucester": most cyclocrossers wear their girlfriend's underpants.
or as the popular search engine would have me say, through macedonian and japanese, "cyclocrossers wear most of the girls in their pants."
26 October 2010
all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.
i've been deleting parts or all of my posts a lot recently. maybe it's the rain "warshing" my bitterness down a little bit. i do have an "outloud bitter" thought: why are gillian welch, buddy miller and chris stapleton all over nashville recordings, but none of their own music, which easily eclipses the bulk of nasheville country, is ever played on nasheville radio?
anyway, my clutch blew out this morning. maybe that's what got my crankypants all atwitter. the best part of this is the timing. i won't miss any work, but i did miss out on getting "freshies" in october. and hadda get all wet and cold in the rain while tryna fix it and failing miserably. (i say miserably cos i was miserable, not cos the failure was any more "epic" than any other i accomplish on a daily basis.) which is why i'm writing this at 2.36 in the afternoon, clad in pajamas and wondering if it's too much effort to put on socks to go into the kitchen to try and find a "snackx".
speaking of "snackx", i'm signed on to provide mechanical support for the WA State Cyclocross Championships in a month. as such, i'm polishing up my pretentiousness, my pretentions and my fake belgiumness. i already genuinely like heady "belgium style" beers, so all i gotta do there is buy a bunch. i like "frites", so maybe i can jack some "potatoe steezx" from my "parentx" and make some aheada time. the problem i'm going to run into with this endeavour is that 'cross folk tend to like things that don't actually work, like tubular tires and cantilever brakes. and riding skinny-tyred road bikes in grass and dirt and--their favourite--mud. and carrying their bikes rather than riding them. they even seek out bikes that are easy to "portage", with top tubes manipulated not to be lighter or faster or stronger or geared (heehee) toward a more comfortable ride, but to not hurt the shoulder that's carrying the bike. to me that's like having a car with wooden wheels, metal straps for tread, a drop chain for a brake, a 2 cylinder "model t" engine but with really big, easily accessible tow brackets. i tend to enjoy riding on nicely made and maintained singletrack trails that feature good drainage--little or no mud--and no grass--ever slipped on wet grass? i do all the time--on bikes equipped with tyres featuring lots of tread--traction--and hydraulic disc brakes--stopping power. i tend to ride my road bike off road only while drunk, something i've been skipping for the last four years. too much damage possible. the other way i differ from "'crossers" is in our idea of what's fun and what's stupid. riding an ill-equipped bike in mud and racing only in fall and winter when the weather sucks and the trails should be left to slowly fix themselves is stupid. riding up to and over your pain threshold is stupid. riding yourself into oxygen debt is stupid. riding a bike that's specifically designed not for ride quality or traction but for "portageability" is stupid. cyclocross is based in all of those things and its disciples rave about how awesome, and indeed fun, every part of it is. they talk about "pure sweet hell" (and make pretentious "films" in black and white and washed out, 70s-quality "colour" called "pure sweet hell") and how all that suffering is "glorious" and how "the muddier, the better". i'm also imagining how a "convo" with a distressed (like the jeans!) 'crossdresser would go:
(them in quotes and me not so much)
"can you help me?"
[me shrugging non-commitally]
"my damn tire fell off!"
maybe you shouldn't rely on your own crappy glue job, or for that matter, glue. i don't glue wheels together when i build them.
"um, okay. but can you put my tire back on?"
nope. not worth my time to learn. people who actually ride bikes don't use tubulars, ergo, i've no experience with them.
"um, okay. what do i do?"
go cry inn your beer?
or
whatzup?
"my brakes don't work."
is it muddy?
"yes."
do you have shitty cantilevers cos you decided a discipline whose arbitrarily arcane and difficult rules useta mandate an archaic brake design was awesome?
"yes."
wait. why do you expect your brakes to work in the first place?
or
"can you make my shifters work?"
are the cables covered completely in mud?
"of course! IT'S 'CROSS SEASON BITCHEZ!!!"
(much like the brake argument.) why do you think your bike will shift?
or
[walking around the pit before the race]
why ain't y'all runnin cascadia fenders? it'd keep you and your bike way cleaner in all this mud and grass. plus they got nice beaver tails to keep the spray down so you don't get anyone behind you all dirty. all them roadies that do the chilly hilly have em. or at least imaginatively beaver-flapped full coverage fenders of some kind. i mean, have you seen what all this shit will do to your drivetrain?
at least i'll have an excuse to get all shitty at 9 in the morning.
anyway, my clutch blew out this morning. maybe that's what got my crankypants all atwitter. the best part of this is the timing. i won't miss any work, but i did miss out on getting "freshies" in october. and hadda get all wet and cold in the rain while tryna fix it and failing miserably. (i say miserably cos i was miserable, not cos the failure was any more "epic" than any other i accomplish on a daily basis.) which is why i'm writing this at 2.36 in the afternoon, clad in pajamas and wondering if it's too much effort to put on socks to go into the kitchen to try and find a "snackx".
speaking of "snackx", i'm signed on to provide mechanical support for the WA State Cyclocross Championships in a month. as such, i'm polishing up my pretentiousness, my pretentions and my fake belgiumness. i already genuinely like heady "belgium style" beers, so all i gotta do there is buy a bunch. i like "frites", so maybe i can jack some "potatoe steezx" from my "parentx" and make some aheada time. the problem i'm going to run into with this endeavour is that 'cross folk tend to like things that don't actually work, like tubular tires and cantilever brakes. and riding skinny-tyred road bikes in grass and dirt and--their favourite--mud. and carrying their bikes rather than riding them. they even seek out bikes that are easy to "portage", with top tubes manipulated not to be lighter or faster or stronger or geared (heehee) toward a more comfortable ride, but to not hurt the shoulder that's carrying the bike. to me that's like having a car with wooden wheels, metal straps for tread, a drop chain for a brake, a 2 cylinder "model t" engine but with really big, easily accessible tow brackets. i tend to enjoy riding on nicely made and maintained singletrack trails that feature good drainage--little or no mud--and no grass--ever slipped on wet grass? i do all the time--on bikes equipped with tyres featuring lots of tread--traction--and hydraulic disc brakes--stopping power. i tend to ride my road bike off road only while drunk, something i've been skipping for the last four years. too much damage possible. the other way i differ from "'crossers" is in our idea of what's fun and what's stupid. riding an ill-equipped bike in mud and racing only in fall and winter when the weather sucks and the trails should be left to slowly fix themselves is stupid. riding up to and over your pain threshold is stupid. riding yourself into oxygen debt is stupid. riding a bike that's specifically designed not for ride quality or traction but for "portageability" is stupid. cyclocross is based in all of those things and its disciples rave about how awesome, and indeed fun, every part of it is. they talk about "pure sweet hell" (and make pretentious "films" in black and white and washed out, 70s-quality "colour" called "pure sweet hell") and how all that suffering is "glorious" and how "the muddier, the better". i'm also imagining how a "convo" with a distressed (like the jeans!) 'crossdresser would go:
(them in quotes and me not so much)
"can you help me?"
[me shrugging non-commitally]
"my damn tire fell off!"
maybe you shouldn't rely on your own crappy glue job, or for that matter, glue. i don't glue wheels together when i build them.
"um, okay. but can you put my tire back on?"
nope. not worth my time to learn. people who actually ride bikes don't use tubulars, ergo, i've no experience with them.
"um, okay. what do i do?"
go cry inn your beer?
or
whatzup?
"my brakes don't work."
is it muddy?
"yes."
do you have shitty cantilevers cos you decided a discipline whose arbitrarily arcane and difficult rules useta mandate an archaic brake design was awesome?
"yes."
wait. why do you expect your brakes to work in the first place?
or
"can you make my shifters work?"
are the cables covered completely in mud?
"of course! IT'S 'CROSS SEASON BITCHEZ!!!"
(much like the brake argument.) why do you think your bike will shift?
or
[walking around the pit before the race]
why ain't y'all runnin cascadia fenders? it'd keep you and your bike way cleaner in all this mud and grass. plus they got nice beaver tails to keep the spray down so you don't get anyone behind you all dirty. all them roadies that do the chilly hilly have em. or at least imaginatively beaver-flapped full coverage fenders of some kind. i mean, have you seen what all this shit will do to your drivetrain?
at least i'll have an excuse to get all shitty at 9 in the morning.
24 October 2010
tidying the basement with the VELVET COWBOY
A terrified high pitched whinny rends the air, as the dusky stallion named "sooty pants" discovers something Horrible WHOOOAAAAAA there ssssooooty britches. Whoa gal. Whats making your single working eye roll up in yur head all terrible and yeller that way? ..... it was the Scrabble box, covered in MOLD.
22 October 2010
i've been called bitter before.
i had this long rant set up, but then i decided it was too long and ranty. i'll paraphrase it: "mayor" mike "mike bikes" mcguinn can suck my b*^^s. i then hit the "next blog" button a couple times and there was "princess amy's hideout". lots of shit about the "new moon saga" and eminem's "best new song ever made". hm. i tried to listen to it, but apparently these things magically disappear. something about a faery sprite named "viacom". or something. there's even "twilight cupcakes". weird.
i then kept hitting the button like a rat hooked up to pleasure electrodes. all i found were "family" blogs. scary amounts of baby pictures and oversharing. i'll paraphrase: "i have pop-pop in the attic!" i don't get it. why would you want to expose your kids to the world at large? it's scary enough in our little enclaves.
it's now 12.12 in the am. ima keep being up cos i ain't been up this late in a long time. one blog had the headline "we finally made it!!!!!" with lots of pictures of the arkansas state line sign. "the natural state". scary. i think our blog somehow got collected in the wrong "blogosphere". one blog is talking about her ivf and bfp. i don't even know what those are. i have a bike. "i have a belly button." i wonder what justin townes earle is up to?
oh yeah: i voted last week. i probly didn't sign my name right again. i got a letter from king county after the primary saying i'd given them an "incomplete signature". who do they think they are? i can change my signature any damn time i please. incomplete? how do they know? do they have cameras in my room? bugs in the attic? the best thing about the letter from the king county voting whatever was that it showed up the day they wanted to hear back from me in letter form. efficiency!!!
i think it's time to go sleep in my empty bed. the woman next to me is in portland for a few days. it's kinda lonely, but nowhere near as much as when i couldn't say anything about the woman next to me.
i then kept hitting the button like a rat hooked up to pleasure electrodes. all i found were "family" blogs. scary amounts of baby pictures and oversharing. i'll paraphrase: "i have pop-pop in the attic!" i don't get it. why would you want to expose your kids to the world at large? it's scary enough in our little enclaves.
it's now 12.12 in the am. ima keep being up cos i ain't been up this late in a long time. one blog had the headline "we finally made it!!!!!" with lots of pictures of the arkansas state line sign. "the natural state". scary. i think our blog somehow got collected in the wrong "blogosphere". one blog is talking about her ivf and bfp. i don't even know what those are. i have a bike. "i have a belly button." i wonder what justin townes earle is up to?
oh yeah: i voted last week. i probly didn't sign my name right again. i got a letter from king county after the primary saying i'd given them an "incomplete signature". who do they think they are? i can change my signature any damn time i please. incomplete? how do they know? do they have cameras in my room? bugs in the attic? the best thing about the letter from the king county voting whatever was that it showed up the day they wanted to hear back from me in letter form. efficiency!!!
i think it's time to go sleep in my empty bed. the woman next to me is in portland for a few days. it's kinda lonely, but nowhere near as much as when i couldn't say anything about the woman next to me.
19 October 2010
silence is puce
I rescued SheWhoMustBeTexted's cat from up the apple tree in the back yard last night, about 9:30PM, by the method of climbing the tree in the dark and (sort of) throwing him down. I would like to point out that I am 52 years old. Miffed-ness gave me supermoeman strength. After that he was extremely grateful for 15 seconds (shown in kitten-almost-cat language by winding around and around my feet causing me to trip and curse 5 times). I wasn't miffed at him, but at SWMBT, who had refused to be guilt tripped into coming home and climbing the tree herself, even when I texted her the Pathetic details. In fact, she texted back "it sucks to be him". So I figure he is MY cat now, and I have renamed him to 5-spot. "Oreo" is a stupid name. When I am feeling affectionate, I call him 10-spot. If you count every spot on him, he actually has 9 spots, but if you count his butt (ahem) it could be 10.
Yesterday at work a deputy told us a story that started out "I did not think it was a very good idea for 2 white officers to go to a mostly black part of Portland and take money from an Ethiopian restaurant." You are probably saying "WHAT???" same as I was. It was for a civil suit or debt collection or something and involved 2 twin midgets in Rasta hats being very mad, and the deputies only getting $34 because that was all that was in the cash register. There are a lot of puns that a person can make about this but I feel a little bit cautious and will not. (or 2 little bits cautious.)
Yesterday at work a deputy told us a story that started out "I did not think it was a very good idea for 2 white officers to go to a mostly black part of Portland and take money from an Ethiopian restaurant." You are probably saying "WHAT???" same as I was. It was for a civil suit or debt collection or something and involved 2 twin midgets in Rasta hats being very mad, and the deputies only getting $34 because that was all that was in the cash register. There are a lot of puns that a person can make about this but I feel a little bit cautious and will not. (or 2 little bits cautious.)
the maples have just turned green. Just turned green maple trees.
for most of the summer the maples outside my window were a kind of purple. when the sun finally came out in late july, they started the slow transition to green. by september, they were fully green. now in mid october, they are wandering to a rust brown colour. where did all this time go?
early this afternoon we took a hike up the hill at crystal to check out a studio apartment in the tony "gold hills" neighbourhood. it was sunny. i liked it. i want to ride my bicycle. i got a new "jersey" (okay, carhartt t-shirt) in "hunter orange" so i can rail through the green line and mima-porter trails at capitol this weekend. looks like rain.
Summer, most maples outside my window was a kind of purple. When the sun finally came out in late July, it began the transition to the green is slow. By September, they were completely green. Now, in mid-October, they lost the brown rust. Where is all this time?
Crystal in the early afternoon on a hike up the hill to take out Tony "golden mountains" in the neighborhood, check out the studio apartment. Baked. I liked it. I want to ride a bike. On the capital this weekend to a new "hunter orange" (the right, Carhartt T-shirt), "Jersey" green line, and Mima Porter tracks, so I can take the train went through. It looks like rain.
i've been checking out the arapahoe and loveland basins websites a bunch recently, in addition to geeking out over the new-to-me "goooooooooogle" translate function. they compete every year for the "honour" of being the first in the country to open. it's kinda funny, cos they're pushing around all kinda fake snows. the woman next to me is taking a nap. i find all this rush to be open on crappy snow somewhat decadent, but i guess that's what you do in CO. i'd be happy to do the same. i'm not above skiing on corn flakes.
I am, "goooooooooogle" geeking for me to translate the new features, as well as a bunch of checking the site recently got a swimming pool Loveland and Arapahoe. They open the first country to "honor" to compete every year. cos somehow managed to fake snow all around, kind of funny. I was cut to a woman. I have a bad day all the snow and a little decadent in a rush to find an open, happy to do the same, but the CO to do, I think. I am skiing corn flakes.
the chickens and rooster and chicks are outside making noises. this is kinda soothing, though it's 5.39 in the evening. i got a new "powder magazine" yesterday, and it is good. there's a picture on the cover of some dude in southern utah gettin sicker in the sunset. i like sunsets. i like snow. i like gettin sicker. i have eight days of ballard work left before the winter, then on to the mountain. i'm afraid of paying rent if we get the place we looked at this afternoon, but i want to live there cos i could ski to work.
the hens and cocks and cock outside noises. It's kind of welcome they have 5.39 in the evening. I have a new "powder yesterday, and it's good. This is a picture on the cover of a dude in southern Utah gettin sicker in the sunset. I like sunsets. I love snow. I like gettin sicker. I work eight days before winter Ballard left, then up the mountain. I'm afraid to pay rent if we live in the place we saw this afternoon, but I like cos i to go skiing was able work.
outside it is getting more sunsetty. the neighbours moved, taking "puke-bark" with them. it was a sad move, cos they tried to sell their way out of foreclosure, but they were unable to. as the sun goes down, the light gets kind of wistful. the new gondola at crystal is kinda comical. it's almost winter and they aren't all that close to being done. there's a celery seed bottle in the window next to the "bag balm" jug. i like jugs of juice. especially orange juice and pomegranate juice. now the sun is set, and it's getting dark. the chickens are running around frantically eating before it gets sleepy time. "nubs" the rooster is flapping his wings.
He gets more sunsetty. With them - were neighbors "to vomit in the shell," it takes. That they had to sell their disposal, was a sad move, but they failed. Even as the sun, the light gets kind of nostalgia. The new gondola is a funny long crystal. Almost winter, so I'm not close to being done. Next to the glass bottle jar celery seeds "bag balm." I like juice jugs. Especially pomegranate juice and orange juice. Now the sun sets, and it's getting dark. It's time to sleep before you run around like crazy chickens to eat. "Nubs" is a chicken wing.
my coworker "steve" got chicken wings the other day. they were pretty tasty. sometimes i hafta poop. ooh! more sun just came through. musta been clouds i couldn't see. i know how to ride a bicycle. bicycles are fun!! i have laundry to do. byebye!!!
My colleague Steve "Chicken wings are the other days. They were very tasty. Moon, and sometimes absorbs. ooh! Only Sun has suffered more. I saw the clouds should be. I know that ride a bicycle. velo is fun! I have a car. Well-goal!
early this afternoon we took a hike up the hill at crystal to check out a studio apartment in the tony "gold hills" neighbourhood. it was sunny. i liked it. i want to ride my bicycle. i got a new "jersey" (okay, carhartt t-shirt) in "hunter orange" so i can rail through the green line and mima-porter trails at capitol this weekend. looks like rain.
Summer, most maples outside my window was a kind of purple. When the sun finally came out in late July, it began the transition to the green is slow. By September, they were completely green. Now, in mid-October, they lost the brown rust. Where is all this time?
Crystal in the early afternoon on a hike up the hill to take out Tony "golden mountains" in the neighborhood, check out the studio apartment. Baked. I liked it. I want to ride a bike. On the capital this weekend to a new "hunter orange" (the right, Carhartt T-shirt), "Jersey" green line, and Mima Porter tracks, so I can take the train went through. It looks like rain.
i've been checking out the arapahoe and loveland basins websites a bunch recently, in addition to geeking out over the new-to-me "goooooooooogle" translate function. they compete every year for the "honour" of being the first in the country to open. it's kinda funny, cos they're pushing around all kinda fake snows. the woman next to me is taking a nap. i find all this rush to be open on crappy snow somewhat decadent, but i guess that's what you do in CO. i'd be happy to do the same. i'm not above skiing on corn flakes.
I am, "goooooooooogle" geeking for me to translate the new features, as well as a bunch of checking the site recently got a swimming pool Loveland and Arapahoe. They open the first country to "honor" to compete every year. cos somehow managed to fake snow all around, kind of funny. I was cut to a woman. I have a bad day all the snow and a little decadent in a rush to find an open, happy to do the same, but the CO to do, I think. I am skiing corn flakes.
the chickens and rooster and chicks are outside making noises. this is kinda soothing, though it's 5.39 in the evening. i got a new "powder magazine" yesterday, and it is good. there's a picture on the cover of some dude in southern utah gettin sicker in the sunset. i like sunsets. i like snow. i like gettin sicker. i have eight days of ballard work left before the winter, then on to the mountain. i'm afraid of paying rent if we get the place we looked at this afternoon, but i want to live there cos i could ski to work.
the hens and cocks and cock outside noises. It's kind of welcome they have 5.39 in the evening. I have a new "powder yesterday, and it's good. This is a picture on the cover of a dude in southern Utah gettin sicker in the sunset. I like sunsets. I love snow. I like gettin sicker. I work eight days before winter Ballard left, then up the mountain. I'm afraid to pay rent if we live in the place we saw this afternoon, but I like cos i to go skiing was able work.
outside it is getting more sunsetty. the neighbours moved, taking "puke-bark" with them. it was a sad move, cos they tried to sell their way out of foreclosure, but they were unable to. as the sun goes down, the light gets kind of wistful. the new gondola at crystal is kinda comical. it's almost winter and they aren't all that close to being done. there's a celery seed bottle in the window next to the "bag balm" jug. i like jugs of juice. especially orange juice and pomegranate juice. now the sun is set, and it's getting dark. the chickens are running around frantically eating before it gets sleepy time. "nubs" the rooster is flapping his wings.
He gets more sunsetty. With them - were neighbors "to vomit in the shell," it takes. That they had to sell their disposal, was a sad move, but they failed. Even as the sun, the light gets kind of nostalgia. The new gondola is a funny long crystal. Almost winter, so I'm not close to being done. Next to the glass bottle jar celery seeds "bag balm." I like juice jugs. Especially pomegranate juice and orange juice. Now the sun sets, and it's getting dark. It's time to sleep before you run around like crazy chickens to eat. "Nubs" is a chicken wing.
my coworker "steve" got chicken wings the other day. they were pretty tasty. sometimes i hafta poop. ooh! more sun just came through. musta been clouds i couldn't see. i know how to ride a bicycle. bicycles are fun!! i have laundry to do. byebye!!!
My colleague Steve "Chicken wings are the other days. They were very tasty. Moon, and sometimes absorbs. ooh! Only Sun has suffered more. I saw the clouds should be. I know that ride a bicycle. velo is fun! I have a car. Well-goal!
18 October 2010
mass quantities of small green apples-- i have climbed up a tree and saved this post stuck there since 7/14/10
A reader writes:
"Knit five purl five, dude.
Why did most of the apples fall off the tree in my new back yard while they are small and green, making me bien triste ?
And some of them have small horseshoe bite marks??
Which is eerie because chickens don't have teeth and cats don't eat apples.
?
I am from France."
Moe, you are not from France. If you are not biting those apples, then I'm gonna have to say that opossum or your teenager is. Somebody at the library is saying "hi" and waving at her computer screen over and over. She does not smell funny. She looks young and Japanese. Doesn't "hi" mean yes or else no in Japanese?
"Knit five purl five, dude.
Why did most of the apples fall off the tree in my new back yard while they are small and green, making me bien triste ?
And some of them have small horseshoe bite marks??
Which is eerie because chickens don't have teeth and cats don't eat apples.
?
I am from France."
Moe, you are not from France. If you are not biting those apples, then I'm gonna have to say that opossum or your teenager is. Somebody at the library is saying "hi" and waving at her computer screen over and over. She does not smell funny. She looks young and Japanese. Doesn't "hi" mean yes or else no in Japanese?
15 October 2010
STOP WHISPERING!!!!!!!
i've been feeling quite a few nostalgic bits of late. last week the amtrak made a booboo and blocked up all BN rail traffic in the sumner/auburn/puyallup/tacoma area and i hadda ride from auburn to puyallup. not a generally dificult task, maybe ten miles or so, but it was at night and the east valley highway is surprisingly terrifying in full dark with no real headlight. the oncoming traffic blinded me and the potholes came quick and deep and playing dirty. anyway, i rode as fast as i could to sumner, where i filled up my water bottle at the main street dairy freeze. worked next door to them three years ago for two months before being "layed of" (fired). on the way into puyallup, i passed our old headquarters, "free latte's" sign replaced by a "free lattes" sign, but otherwise the same. (i keep getting almond butter on my fingers.) though my bike is different, it was nonetheless a bit jarring. living there is one of the few truly comfortable times in my life.
anyway, fall is definitely more easier to crock up all the old stuff. leaves and apples and pumpkin beer and all that.
i had a customer this morning who was tryna be real friendly like. a somewhat paraphrased "convo", her in quotes, me not so much:
"hi!!!!"
whatzup?
"i think i have a flat tire maybe i don't can you look at it how are you doing?!!!"
eh.
"what do you think is my tire flat can you put air in it how are you doing?!!!!"
it looks fine. let me put air some in.
"how are you doing?!!!! IT'S A REEEEEAAAALLLLYYYYY NICE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i shut off after that.
a customer from yesterday, after she fell off her bike in the doorway:
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!! I GOT OFF TOO QUICKLY!!!!" thankfully, she din't "conque" her head or nuthin.
there's a smashing pumpkins song off of "gish" on the "mix" just now. it's pretty much warm and fuzzy. i need to cut my fingernails. i just hung up three pairs of bike shorts. i'm mad at my coworker "tone-deaf" right now cos he misordered a pair of shorts for me. he thought i was an "XL"!! to quote taylor swift's current "blockbuster", "can you believe it?!!!" speaking of our current pop-country-crossover-annoying-perfect-young-woman phenomenon, i'm tired of having her shit stuck in my head. my roommate from montana just exhorted my roommate from taiwan to "come into my healing ward". i should include that they are playing warcraft. not the one where you make "avatars" to fight other "avatars", but the wizardy one that people useta play in college way back in the day. now i'm listening to rod stewart. "maggie mae". i like "almost famous". kate winslet was good in that one. have you heard of the new movie "red"? seems like "green" would be a better grossing movie. cos of all the "sustainability" bullshit everyone's spewing right now. sustainable like "building a 'green' house in a converted swamp using 'sustainable' lumber from 'replantable' forests". i think if i made a "colour movie" right now, i'd call it "chartreuse peuse". cos that'd be awesome. now ima write a sentence and translate it using the "popular search engine" translation method.
"i spotted a murder of crows eating from a hammock and licking their wounds." becomes "Chova see amok in a food undo cuts kill". no period. that one was like through like 8 languages and back. "to make your shock's pressure higher, simply make pump with hand." becomes "Easily carried by hand pump, so the higher the shock pressure" again without a period, this time simply from english to japanese and back. "please observe the crossing the crosswalk rules before crossing the crosswalk." becomes "Please follow the rules, because it is through the corridor before crossing the aisle." when translated from english to greek to arabic to russian to indonesian to japanese to traditional chinese to icelandic to english. "when the levee breaks just got cut off. poop." becomes "It is simply closed the dam breaks. Yes", again missing at least one period, when translated from english to japanese to basque to greek to german to english. "please do not sample the potatoes in country." becomes "Please do not try to country potatoes." when translated from english to danish to japanese and back to english. this is fun. "ima keep this up till the woman next to me gets home from work in seattle." becomes "Now home to keep until the woman next to me, out of a job in Seattle." from english to japanese to croation to english. "what does 'jesus freaks/ out in the streets' mean?" is "Jesus' Devil / streets "mean?" english, hindi, english. "if you run into the wall, don't blame the wall." is "Do not blame the wall in the wall.". english, latin, galician, thai, english. "go to the store to get beets, mangle-wurzle and catastrophic insurance. i want to go to bed and sleep and listen to august and everything after." is "Go to store beets, the pound Boogbeg - wurzle and disaster insurance. I do not want to go to sleep and sleep and listening to August and everything after." english, finnish, welsh, thai, english. "i'm kind of delirious with tired." is "I'm kind of tired with delirious." english to arabic and back.
suffice it too say that when it comes to playing "telepherique", "gooooooooooooooogle" ain't got shit!
anyway, fall is definitely more easier to crock up all the old stuff. leaves and apples and pumpkin beer and all that.
i had a customer this morning who was tryna be real friendly like. a somewhat paraphrased "convo", her in quotes, me not so much:
"hi!!!!"
whatzup?
"i think i have a flat tire maybe i don't can you look at it how are you doing?!!!"
eh.
"what do you think is my tire flat can you put air in it how are you doing?!!!!"
it looks fine. let me put air some in.
"how are you doing?!!!! IT'S A REEEEEAAAALLLLYYYYY NICE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i shut off after that.
a customer from yesterday, after she fell off her bike in the doorway:
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!! I GOT OFF TOO QUICKLY!!!!" thankfully, she din't "conque" her head or nuthin.
there's a smashing pumpkins song off of "gish" on the "mix" just now. it's pretty much warm and fuzzy. i need to cut my fingernails. i just hung up three pairs of bike shorts. i'm mad at my coworker "tone-deaf" right now cos he misordered a pair of shorts for me. he thought i was an "XL"!! to quote taylor swift's current "blockbuster", "can you believe it?!!!" speaking of our current pop-country-crossover-annoying-perfect-young-woman phenomenon, i'm tired of having her shit stuck in my head. my roommate from montana just exhorted my roommate from taiwan to "come into my healing ward". i should include that they are playing warcraft. not the one where you make "avatars" to fight other "avatars", but the wizardy one that people useta play in college way back in the day. now i'm listening to rod stewart. "maggie mae". i like "almost famous". kate winslet was good in that one. have you heard of the new movie "red"? seems like "green" would be a better grossing movie. cos of all the "sustainability" bullshit everyone's spewing right now. sustainable like "building a 'green' house in a converted swamp using 'sustainable' lumber from 'replantable' forests". i think if i made a "colour movie" right now, i'd call it "chartreuse peuse". cos that'd be awesome. now ima write a sentence and translate it using the "popular search engine" translation method.
"i spotted a murder of crows eating from a hammock and licking their wounds." becomes "Chova see amok in a food undo cuts kill". no period. that one was like through like 8 languages and back. "to make your shock's pressure higher, simply make pump with hand." becomes "Easily carried by hand pump, so the higher the shock pressure" again without a period, this time simply from english to japanese and back. "please observe the crossing the crosswalk rules before crossing the crosswalk." becomes "Please follow the rules, because it is through the corridor before crossing the aisle." when translated from english to greek to arabic to russian to indonesian to japanese to traditional chinese to icelandic to english. "when the levee breaks just got cut off. poop." becomes "It is simply closed the dam breaks. Yes", again missing at least one period, when translated from english to japanese to basque to greek to german to english. "please do not sample the potatoes in country." becomes "Please do not try to country potatoes." when translated from english to danish to japanese and back to english. this is fun. "ima keep this up till the woman next to me gets home from work in seattle." becomes "Now home to keep until the woman next to me, out of a job in Seattle." from english to japanese to croation to english. "what does 'jesus freaks/ out in the streets' mean?" is "Jesus' Devil / streets "mean?" english, hindi, english. "if you run into the wall, don't blame the wall." is "Do not blame the wall in the wall.". english, latin, galician, thai, english. "go to the store to get beets, mangle-wurzle and catastrophic insurance. i want to go to bed and sleep and listen to august and everything after." is "Go to store beets, the pound Boogbeg - wurzle and disaster insurance. I do not want to go to sleep and sleep and listening to August and everything after." english, finnish, welsh, thai, english. "i'm kind of delirious with tired." is "I'm kind of tired with delirious." english to arabic and back.
suffice it too say that when it comes to playing "telepherique", "gooooooooooooooogle" ain't got shit!
12 October 2010
2 months is a long time.
in that time i've accomplished many things, including becoming a french "shef", learning how to "sale" and learning how to "ride" my bike "uphill". right now, "tha" woman beside me is working out. i figured i'd do the same. since i'm the modern equivalent of a cross between hermes and hercules, i figured i'd collect some random thoughts.
firstly, i'm only a few weeks away from being thirty (well, 8 months and change). this is a few things for me. scary, interesting, boring, frightening, relieving and the like. someone once told me that "23 is the last time i felt young." interestingly, she still works at the same albertsons thats she worked at when she was 16. i saw her the other day, and i think she recognised me, but i said what i usually do. ". . ."
secondly, it's snowing in some hills. this is happy-making. granted, i saw snow in the wallowas in late august, but still.
thirdly, i'm listening to a bob marley song. haven't "purposefully" done that since "gradumeticulating" from green river gator college in 1932. it's kinda nice.
fourthly, october is been okay. my seattle roomies kicked me out back in september, and i've been crashing in rural not-tacoma-and-not-puyallup. on a small plot with chickens. that make soufflés for us. and find time to procreate. the chicks are now just small, chirping chickens and maybe a rooster, but they're still way cute.
fifthly, my seattle roommates kicked me out in late september. this is now a good thing, early frustrations aside. i've been riding my bike 30 miles a day, 3 miles of hill at the end of the day inclusive. i look like thor hushovd winning the rainbow jersey (go norge!!!!!!) except for the paunch and "moobs" and "foo mann choo" that he is sorely lacking and the '90 schwinn tempo with "downtoob shifties" where he's on the newest cervèlo sprinting machine.
sixthly, i miss mighty-o doughnuts. and elysian pumpkin beer. and feeling underdressed in every situation. (well, maybe not that last one.) and mighty-o doughnuts.
seventhly, i'm getting a new cousin-in-law. i'm sure i'm sposeta be stoked, but this is getting old. most of my cousins are married. i have fewer and fewer of my 38 cousins to commiserate with over the unfairness of the tax code and the "groutness" of gillian welch. granted, i've never done either of those things with my cousins, but time is running short to do so.
eighthly, i like eggs. eggs are good.
ninthly, last week, i rode a buncha bridges out at black diamond that have previously stymied me. i felt like darren "bearclaw" barrecloth getting sicker thirty feet over some tabletop throwin down a sick superman seat grab. and not crashing like he did so righteously in "seasons".
tenthly, we've been "slaying" some "sick edits" at the shop for a couple months, such as the above-mentioned "seasons" and the other two collective edits, some DH racing flicks from "britton" and some "freeride" edits from "new world disorder". i can now define the "freeride mountain bike seen" thusly: "it's gnarly, bro, gnarly, gnarly, gnarly." totally pro, indeed.
eleventhly, i kinda like lucinda williams. this has been hard, cos i still hate her voice. but she seems honest, whether she is or not.
twelfthly, ich habe viel hunger. ich muss abend essen machen.
cheese, beer and doughnuts!!!!!!!
firstly, i'm only a few weeks away from being thirty (well, 8 months and change). this is a few things for me. scary, interesting, boring, frightening, relieving and the like. someone once told me that "23 is the last time i felt young." interestingly, she still works at the same albertsons thats she worked at when she was 16. i saw her the other day, and i think she recognised me, but i said what i usually do. ". . ."
secondly, it's snowing in some hills. this is happy-making. granted, i saw snow in the wallowas in late august, but still.
thirdly, i'm listening to a bob marley song. haven't "purposefully" done that since "gradumeticulating" from green river gator college in 1932. it's kinda nice.
fourthly, october is been okay. my seattle roomies kicked me out back in september, and i've been crashing in rural not-tacoma-and-not-puyallup. on a small plot with chickens. that make soufflés for us. and find time to procreate. the chicks are now just small, chirping chickens and maybe a rooster, but they're still way cute.
fifthly, my seattle roommates kicked me out in late september. this is now a good thing, early frustrations aside. i've been riding my bike 30 miles a day, 3 miles of hill at the end of the day inclusive. i look like thor hushovd winning the rainbow jersey (go norge!!!!!!) except for the paunch and "moobs" and "foo mann choo" that he is sorely lacking and the '90 schwinn tempo with "downtoob shifties" where he's on the newest cervèlo sprinting machine.
sixthly, i miss mighty-o doughnuts. and elysian pumpkin beer. and feeling underdressed in every situation. (well, maybe not that last one.) and mighty-o doughnuts.
seventhly, i'm getting a new cousin-in-law. i'm sure i'm sposeta be stoked, but this is getting old. most of my cousins are married. i have fewer and fewer of my 38 cousins to commiserate with over the unfairness of the tax code and the "groutness" of gillian welch. granted, i've never done either of those things with my cousins, but time is running short to do so.
eighthly, i like eggs. eggs are good.
ninthly, last week, i rode a buncha bridges out at black diamond that have previously stymied me. i felt like darren "bearclaw" barrecloth getting sicker thirty feet over some tabletop throwin down a sick superman seat grab. and not crashing like he did so righteously in "seasons".
tenthly, we've been "slaying" some "sick edits" at the shop for a couple months, such as the above-mentioned "seasons" and the other two collective edits, some DH racing flicks from "britton" and some "freeride" edits from "new world disorder". i can now define the "freeride mountain bike seen" thusly: "it's gnarly, bro, gnarly, gnarly, gnarly." totally pro, indeed.
eleventhly, i kinda like lucinda williams. this has been hard, cos i still hate her voice. but she seems honest, whether she is or not.
twelfthly, ich habe viel hunger. ich muss abend essen machen.
cheese, beer and doughnuts!!!!!!!
10 August 2010
under an old brass paperweight.
(to quote part of a toby keith song. ach.)
what i've done today (in no particular order):
.i done woked up. which is an accomplishment in itself.
.stressed about bills, rent, snow, how to swap an alternator on a '99 subie, that sorta thing.
.pooped.
.put on pajamas. (which, at 15.13 in the afternoon, i still have on.)
.looked up bike shop websites for towns around the country where there are grad schools who offer environmental ed master's degrees.
.stared at pictures of leadville and bikes.
.thought about bikes.
.ate breakfast.
.talked about eating lunch.
.looked at the paul components website. got a little disappointed, cos he only uses iso bottom bracket spindles. talk about snobby.
.ate lunch.
.drank tea.
.talked about drinking tea.
.looked at craigslist.
.thought about bikes.
.looked at service prices at various bike shops.
.thought about going to the united bicycle institute.
.thought about bikes.
.talked about bikes.
.looked at the website for the "cloud city wheelers" in leadville. (Pb.)
.decided Pb would be gorgeous this time of year.
.looked at phil wood's website. green ano hubs. totally 1993. and totally awesome. plus he makes a shimano 8/9/10 hub. time to rob some banks.
.read the line "The good and the very good, the bad and the very bad, and the incorrigibles. Have compassion for the kindergarten pupils, however, who are doing the best they can and do not deserve to be shot at. . ."
.drank tea.
.thought about joining the cloud city wheelers. found out that it'd be round near impossible cos they're in Pb and i'm in ballard. found out it'd cost about a jackson and a lincoln. thought about whether that's a prohibitive cost ITTET or whether the neighbour dog ("puke bark") is actually a government spy.
.thought about moving to Pb.
.put on a shirt. and another shirt.
.flushed the toilet.
.forgot to brush my teeth.
.thought about bikes.
.had some toast.
.and an eggie.
.tried to apply for a job at "cycles of life" in Pb, but couldn't find the "apply your awesomeness here" button.
.watched the chickens eat corn.
.watched the chicks run around being cute.
.stirred "hunny" into the panucaku batter.
.put vanilla in there, too.
.did dishes. thought about moving to "norway". (or "norge", but i still can't pronounce that as well as "norway".)
.thought about arapahoe basin.
.and loveland basin.
.saw a picture of my rental shop boss without his shirt on.
.drank some tea to keep the bile down.
.wondered why the crystal has a couple pictures of the liftline for the new gondola, but not the man who cut the trees to make it possible.
.thought about bikes.
.skis, too.
.bikes.
.bikes. bikes. bikwes . tghjkasdfgl;kjh 'hj;ldhkgfas ;lkIA AA A AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
.looked outside. it's sunny.
and: SCENE.
what i've done today (in no particular order):
.i done woked up. which is an accomplishment in itself.
.stressed about bills, rent, snow, how to swap an alternator on a '99 subie, that sorta thing.
.pooped.
.put on pajamas. (which, at 15.13 in the afternoon, i still have on.)
.looked up bike shop websites for towns around the country where there are grad schools who offer environmental ed master's degrees.
.stared at pictures of leadville and bikes.
.thought about bikes.
.ate breakfast.
.talked about eating lunch.
.looked at the paul components website. got a little disappointed, cos he only uses iso bottom bracket spindles. talk about snobby.
.ate lunch.
.drank tea.
.talked about drinking tea.
.looked at craigslist.
.thought about bikes.
.looked at service prices at various bike shops.
.thought about going to the united bicycle institute.
.thought about bikes.
.talked about bikes.
.looked at the website for the "cloud city wheelers" in leadville. (Pb.)
.decided Pb would be gorgeous this time of year.
.looked at phil wood's website. green ano hubs. totally 1993. and totally awesome. plus he makes a shimano 8/9/10 hub. time to rob some banks.
.read the line "The good and the very good, the bad and the very bad, and the incorrigibles. Have compassion for the kindergarten pupils, however, who are doing the best they can and do not deserve to be shot at. . ."
.drank tea.
.thought about joining the cloud city wheelers. found out that it'd be round near impossible cos they're in Pb and i'm in ballard. found out it'd cost about a jackson and a lincoln. thought about whether that's a prohibitive cost ITTET or whether the neighbour dog ("puke bark") is actually a government spy.
.thought about moving to Pb.
.put on a shirt. and another shirt.
.flushed the toilet.
.forgot to brush my teeth.
.thought about bikes.
.had some toast.
.and an eggie.
.tried to apply for a job at "cycles of life" in Pb, but couldn't find the "apply your awesomeness here" button.
.watched the chickens eat corn.
.watched the chicks run around being cute.
.stirred "hunny" into the panucaku batter.
.put vanilla in there, too.
.did dishes. thought about moving to "norway". (or "norge", but i still can't pronounce that as well as "norway".)
.thought about arapahoe basin.
.and loveland basin.
.saw a picture of my rental shop boss without his shirt on.
.drank some tea to keep the bile down.
.wondered why the crystal has a couple pictures of the liftline for the new gondola, but not the man who cut the trees to make it possible.
.thought about bikes.
.skis, too.
.bikes.
.bikes. bikes. bikwes . tghjkasdfgl;kjh 'hj;ldhkgfas ;lkIA AA A AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
.looked outside. it's sunny.
and: SCENE.
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