this is way slower on my moms' computer.

if i knew how to put photography up here, i'd show you these weird plants that were following us on our hike today. they looked like salmonberry plants in miniature, but i don't think they were. they have three leaves on a single stem, but one must scrutinise heavily the plants to see the stem, so they look like they're floating. the reeeeeeally mysterious part was that EVERY ONE OF THEM WAS THE SAME COLOUR OF KHAKI. creepy. it felt like when we stopped looking, they got up and moved. there was also a raven following us, making woodpecker noises. creepy as well. my "hiking friend" talks a lot, though, so i felt okay. actually, my "h-f" is a kind and humourous girl, so i felt better than okay. and skookum falls is WAY cooler from up close than it is from the highway. and ravens are supposedly old loggers who've passed on, so maybe it was my grandfather saying "hi!" and we just didn't know it.

Is this a test?

WHEN did the "hermit club" turn into the "helmet club"? Tell me "just recently".

I remember walking our dog in The Scratch, and always turning left at the street and left at the next street, and eventually turning left at another and again, and again at our driveway. I knew all the "sights" like the back of my whatever.

For some reason one day, I made all RIGHT turns, arriving -- yes, you guessed -- back at my driveway. Essentially the exact same route but it was as if I'd traveled to another state. Everything looked totally different, or at least I saw things I'd not seen before, which obviously were always there. Perception (or not) is a funny thing.

Hey! A new best score!

I neglected to tell all you guys who have been plugging for me, that I got a new high score in Boggle yesterday. I am no longer in the middle of the Very Low Scores, and have achieved (once at least) the middle of the Low Scores! I was like I don't believe it! I was like so pumped. I was like can I go even higher?

And the strange thing is, I got points for words I was like guessing about. When I saw them okayed, I was like ----- words fail me, like duh.

There might be slugs under there.

last day in seattle.

now that i have 6 months in seattle under my belt, i've decided i'm an expert. this makes a full year of working here, and i thought i'd compare my two living situations.
-beds in greenwater are much softer. funny, i know; you'd think all the fluffiness of seattlites would necessitate like feather beads or something, but that hasn't been my experience.
-it doesn't snow in seattle. after two sets of six months here, i've not got snowed on even once. last winter in greenwater, we had feet on the ground for four whole months! what gives?
-there's different people in each place. i thought everyone was the same, but it turns out, i'm wrong. there isn't one person who lives in both seattle and greenwater at exactly the same time. weird.
-it's way colder in greenwater. i think last winter the highest temp i felt (no need for a thermometer with THIS sami!) was around 55 degrees fahrenheit, while in seattle, i worked one day where it hit 103! record setting temps! i was under the impression that for every thousand feet of elevation the temps drop by 3 degrees in stable conditions. apparently i was wrong.
-seattle has only the months of may-october, and greenwater only has december-april. not a continuous calender. i guess they have not having november in common. i always thought the calendar was more or less start to finish, but in twelve months in seattle, i've not seen a single day on the calendar from november-april. also a bit weird. i blame greg nickels and tim carr.
-the stranger doesn't get distributed in greenwater. it's like they don't want to believe in a world outside of seattle. (oh wait. . .)
anyway. i'm sure there's more, but i'm in the middle of tryna move without my roommates knowing, so i'm a little distracted. i'm not moving out to avoid paying something, or to avoid them for any reason other than i haven't told them i'm leaving today. i'm certain there is a better way to do this, but for some reason, hindenburg the neighbour cat has my tongue. plus the junior roommate wasn't home last night, and this morning, everyone is sleeping. and i haven't seen hindenburg for a couple days, so i don't know if she'll give me my tongue back before i leave. i imagine awkwardness if the roomies wake up. the only issue i can think of is i hafta move my mattress, which is heavy, ergo i may hafta ask for help, and i hafta vaccuum. since the senior roomie shares a wall with me, he might hear. unless hindenburg has his ears.
lastly, someone mentioned an ex-neighbour "dating" me. while i know what dates are and indeed enjoy their meaty fruit and the milkshakes one can "drop" with the sugar drawn from said meaty fruit, i'm not sure what "dating" entails. would she "huck dates" at me? would she "paste dates" on my forhead? would she simply "gift dates" to me? until we clear this up, ima steer clear. no offence; i'm sure she's a really nice girl, but i reserve dates for when i'm in california and i can buy locally. i've not seen any date palms in the puget sound basin.

this is funny if i tell it right.

i'm unemployed. i kinda don't like this, with my prairie lutheran "work is virtue" upbringing, but that's the way it goes. i had things settled to avoid this, but they kinda fell through. as part of this, i am filing for unemployment, y'know, cos we pay in, why not use it when you're in a bind? as part of this, i hafta make 3 "job contacts" each week. i talked to one guy, the guy who had the "job" that became the "not job", and he said it'd become a "job" again on 3 november. cool, but if i wanna collect UI, i hafta keep up the façade of looking for work. so i applied for one job at REI redmond, which, if you don't know yr geography, is "way outa my way no matter which way i live". there was an option to attach my "resume" and i put that "i'm attempting to resume working." um. . .watch this: éèéè. just sayin. another spot asked for "responsibilities and accomplishments", which, since i had just put "mechanic" for my job title, i said i "fix shit. what do you think?" don't think they're callin me back.
the second job posting i found was on craigslist, for marmot "mountain" works in bellevue. which is similar to redmond, geographically--they are a continuous city, in a way, and there are spots in "redmond" that seem more geographically aligned with "bellevue"--except that it's way more uppity and even more dollar filled. the posting was that they were hiring for a "ski technician", willing to train. as in, apparently, right now. i thought, hm. i'm a "ski technician", bored, already trained, could start right now, as we speak. i rolled through belleveue to pick up an application on my way to tapeworm for a spin on my mountainy bicycle. on the way back, i spoke with the manager, explained my "situ", that i could start right now, y'know, cos it's almost ski season, and my friend at sturtevant's in the "fairly sketchy" part of tacoma (as opposed to the "way sketchy" section that you simply don't go to if you're a sheltered rural white kid) is two full weeks out on tunes, and the marmot manager said something to the effect of "we're not actually hiring [wait for it] RIGHT NOW, but sometime in the next few weeks." patronisingly, AS IF I DON'T CHECK THE NOAA FORECAST EVERY DAMN DAY, he added, "y'know, UNTIL IT SNOWS."
three things: 1) if i'm applying to a ski tech job with two seasons of experience, and 27 seasons of skiing, I KNOW WHAT SNOW LOOKS LIKE. I KNOW IT DOESN'T FALL IN GREAT AMOUNTS IN OCTOBER. 2) if a backwater place like tacoma can fill a back shop with two weeks of work before it snows, what can a monied, "outdoor-focused" place like bellevue do, if the store is on top of its game? marmot is the only "backcountry" shop on the eastside until you hit north bend, TWENTY MILES EAST. 3) why the f(*&^( are you posting on craigslist for a ski tech position when you're "not actually hiring right now"? don't get that annoyed look on your face when i say i can start tomorrow. you are looking, at least in theory, to hire someone right away. OTHERWISE, WHY DID YOU POST AN AD TO THAT EFFECT?
some quick admissions. . .i've never managed a "backcountry" retail location. i've managed a bike shop, which is different, i know. i've also been a mechanic, which definitely isn't "management", in both bike retail and ski service, though never in ski retail. supposedly this dude would know better, since he is a "manager" at a "backcountry" retail joint. that said, being a mechanic in a retail "situ", i've seen how to drum up business in an otherwise slow season. the first, biggest, and most effective way to bring people in the door is to have a "special". my grandmother LOVED "specials". so does my mom. SO DOES EVERYONE WHO NEEDS HIS OR HER SKIS TUNED. we just ran a $13 off tune special at the bike shop, POST season, when every good seattlite has totally forgotten his bike, and there were days i couldn't see the end. now, if, PRE season, one were to run this sorta thing, maybe just a $7.50 off tune special, at least you'd get some people through the door. THIS IS NOT A GREAT ECONOMY, if y'all ain't noticed. you MIGHT wanna do something to draw attention to yourself! falsely posting an employment ad on craigslist, while drawing attention to yourself, is NOT the type of attention you are looking for. unless you want to add to your "rep" as THE hip spot to make fun of in the puget sound basin, which apparently the good folks at marmot "mountain" works in bellevue wish to do.

the basement. the ceiling. the neighbors.

Are we supposed to tell dreams on this blog? Usually I have a stance against it but I have one about a coworker (basement drug treatment dungeon/door locks painted nearly shut/hook and eye closures plotted instead/"this is for your own good!" etc) that might actually be a dream about my chickens, that I could share. My chickens are still trying to spend all their time inside the coop because (I think) they are afraid of the neighbors' cats. I am getting a little worried about them.

A teenager I know in a boarding school says indignantly that the parenting program teens downstairs "say that WE walk like elephants!" That made me laugh. It is pretty bad when a pregnant person says you walk like an elephant.


The loudest overhead neighbors I ever had were two very young women who wore clogs a lot, and the place overhead had hardwood floors. They were very nice though, and they stopped wearing the clogs indoors after agreeably listening to me upstairs in MY clogs one day (I didn't have to even plead; I just said "stand right here. Is it okay if I go in your apartment for a minute?" and I walked to and fro and as I came back down the stairs they were already saying "we are SO SORRY!") One of them used to walk a ferret on a leash. I wish I still knew them because they were really fun and would be the right age to date Fillibuster. Er...I mean of course, one or the other of them, not both. Maybe not the ferret one. But they were both nice.

At that apartment, besides the upstairs girls for a while a homeless guy was sleeping out back, outside my kitchen. And there were mice in the basement. It felt comforting sometimes. I used to think that I was the filling in a sandwhich.

theoretical "mathematics"

the senior roommate and i watched "the wire" until 3.30 am this morning. i was surprised at our "last call" until i did the math: starting at 12.30, watching three episodes of roughly one hour apiece, let's see, um, multiply one hour by three, convert 12.30 to 030, add three, carry the peanut butter cups, and . . .OH! it's 0330. convert 0330 into a more palatable 3.30 am, and, no surprise, i woke up at noon. i blame the "employment security" mice.
in other news, i also didn't fall asleep till around 3 am saturday night. there was a "party" again, and the stated goal of the party was to "drink as much Pabst Blue Ribbon as possible." the gauge of just how much one could drink was a "staff" (stalf? staugh? stapholococous? methicylin resistant "stapholococous aurelius"?) of PBR cans made in a rough arrangement by "leveling up": duct taping a fresh can atop the just finished can. the winner--he or she who could "curate" the tallest "staff"--won a tin or copper or some kinda other mug with an aztec calendar motif. somewhere around 2 someone started tapdancing. to me in my bedroom directly underneath the "dance floor", it sounded like a drunk twenny-one year old impersonating an elephant. i could have been wrong. incidently, the junior roommate won the "competitives" with an eleven can "staff". speaking of "employment security" for cheap beer bräumeisters.
in other other news, there's a very pretty woman in her late twennies round the way. i have nothing else do here at the library, but i'm having a hard time "getting up to leave". not that i have anywhere to go but the coffee store. and some terrifyingly important business, like "holding down a park bench out at sunset hill for the afternoon while i read art spiegelman's 'Maus'."

there's a man behind me.

he's singing randomly in a "spanish falsetto", which is remarkably like an "english falsetto" except that he's singing in spanish. if he were singing in an "english falsetto", i'd be equally weirded out. this is a library, after all. he's also laughing in a jumpy, inhaly falsetto, which makes him sound like he's crying. actually, come to think of it, maybe he is crying. he's looking away, though, and behind me, and i can't really walk around and look. at least the music pouring out of his "headspeakers" that are jacked up way too loud for a library is kinda cool. i dig most mariachi type stuff. granted, in this part of the world, mariachi music usually means tacos.
speaking of tacos, i remember an experiment one of my coworkers and i ran when i "worked" at "performance" bike down in tacoma. we were supposed to only play music from the "approved" list of two stations, "adult contemporary" and "adult alternative" on "muzak"--and with "adult alternative" i was relieved to find that the "music" had nothing to do with stuff advertised at the back of the stranger--and that got pretty tiring. i guess this wasn't really an experiment, but we played the mariachi station for an entire day to see what our coworkers would say. the most common comment from customers was a bewildered "i'm kinda hungry. know any good mexican joints around?"
speaking of joints, the roomies and i watched the denzel washington joint "courage under fire" last night, which if i'm not mistaken won an oscar back in the day. i had a buncha negative things to say about it, but actually, i kinda liked it. it was inconsistent, like any good "oscar winning joint" should be, but we all cheered when sergeant carver from the wire showed up. meg ryan's daughter was heartbreaking as meg ryan's daughter. and denzel? he plays a damn good denzel. matt damon was good as a smirking, heroin addicted matt damon, and when the "poster moment" happened, we cheered again. (we have a massive denzel poster on our dining room wall.) i'll be honest: when the headless torso placed the "posthumous medal of honour" around captain meg ryan's daughter's neck, i teared up a bit. but then, to quote matt damon's charactor, matt damon, from my favourite joint of all time, "matt damon is a genious misfit who gets in fights and does 'theoretical mathematics' and also falls in love with a girl and tries really hard to sabotage it up but then gets a car for his 21st birthday and drives toward california, where she flew to on the plane you see flying over matt damon's head in the 'washed-out sequence' where matt damon 'finds his true self', but we don't actually know if he makes it to california", i "sacked up" and shut the tear ducts down. mission accomplished.

a light in the attic.

i'm a bit disappointed that the 6 year old who was supposedly "up at about 8000 feet in a massive helium-filled mylar balloon" was actually just "up in the attic". i mean, can you imagine telling that story to your grandkids?
"dude, grampa? THAT WAS YOU?!"
"why, yes, son! i just hopped in, cut the tether, and TOTALLY SLAYED THAT $#!@! IT WAS AWESOME!!!!"
okay, maybe it wouldn't go that way. my grandpa never spoke that way. course, he din't have such and epicky tale to tell. that said, the kid will still have quite a funny story to tell.
"grandpa! the CNN coverage lasted HOW LONG??"
"most of the day, i think. they had a "balloon curator" who was aptly named "gordon boring" and everything. helicopters, ground crews, all kinda people just millin about, watchin this shiny thing thinkin I WAS UP IN IT! there was probly seven figures in waste that day HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
i mean, when our government wastes a buncha money on nothing, i'm a bit pissed, but there was sposeta be some "credible" evidence--the 6 year old's brother "saw him get in the balloon"--and all the recovery efforts they made were with the expectation of finding a scared and possibly seriously injured 6 year old in the balloon, so i say, good on ya, got some practice chasing down some completely random, never-gonna-happen-again type of stuff. when the media spends money on helicopters, ground crews, "EXPERTS"; when they speculate about "what it's like in the balloon" and the "expert" says "i don't know" and they still broadcast it, i find it more to be a bit of "comeupagainst". and they said it was headed east from larimer county--way up north in CO, bordering on WY--and that the balloon was found "near colorado springs" which is due south of larimer county. there useta be these people called "fact checkers", but apparently they were downsized in the "great consumer bendover" of last fall, possibly replaced by people like me who "love to make shit up for free." the fact that the 6 year old was actually "in the attic" is pretty damn awesome.

diction airy.

i'll try, by using words or phrases in sentances, and one may draw a personal conclusion from there. if art is interpretation, then so is skiing and bikes cos I'M AN "ARTISTIK" AND I SAY SO!!!!

1) sick: "dude! that was so sick."
2) freshies: "dude! i just got some freshies!"
3) face shot: wait. never mind.
4) i had one for four, but i forgot it.
5) fixie: "ima go "rock" my fixie."
6) squishy: "ima go "rock" my squishy."
7) blew/blow up: a) "dude! he totally blew up!" b) "dude! i totally blew up!" c) "dude! wait'll next year! ima totally blow up!"
8) turns: "ima go make some turns."
9) deeskusting: "dude! that was DEESKUSTING!!"
10) dee-tech: a) "dude! that line was DEE-tech!" b) "dude! that trail was DEE-tech!"
11) slash: "dude! ima slash the F(*& outa this!"
12) drop: a) "dude! watch me drop this!" b) "dude! ima do this drop!" c) "dude! i just dropped a new line!" d) "dude! ima drop a new clothing line!"
13) line: "dude! dja SEE that line?!"
14) footy: "dude! dja get some footy of that?!"
15) edit: "dude! ima "rock" a new edit for the facebook!"
16) schralp: "dude! watch this! ima schralp the $#!@ outa this!"
17) back: "dude! ima throw a double back offa this $#!@"
18) three: "dude! i totally just stuck a couple threes!" (same same five, seven, nine, ten, twelve, fourteen.)
19) (the KINGpin) slay: "dude! ima slay this line, bro!"

now i'll attempt to weave a tapestry of ALL of these terms, so that usage will be wholly clear and easy to "rock". . .

"so, dude? i was "rocking" my fixie all summer to train for the winter, nahmeen? jus SLAYin the urban, aight? all fixed gear freestyle and $#!@. i got a bit bored and pulled out the squishy to slay some righteous singletrack and i started "rockin" all these sick drops? that was sick. now all i need is some footy of me slayin alla these drops so i can drop a new edit for the facebookies."
"naw, bro, i totally feel ya, man. i gotta get me some footy this winter. ima slash all that $#!@ we got up in here. ima slay some lines in that $#!@ you can't see with the hubble! just you watch! ima blow the f(*^& up this season! remember that sick line we dropped last year?"
"ah, hells yeah, man!! freshies all up in there, top ta bottom! i was gettin face shots more than kanye! we gotta slay some more dee-tech lines, though. THAT'S what all the kids is jonesin. throw a couple fives offa some rocks and $#!@, DEESKUSTING!"
"and some double backs, nahmeen? who we gone get to drop the footy on us? i got some SIIIICK lines ima drop, y'know? jus SLAY that $#!@. slash some DEE-tech turns all up in there, hit some a them rocks and $#!@ and just rip off a couple double backs."
"$#!t's gone be TIIIIIGHT!"
"dude! remember that other line last year? you TOtally blew up."
"ah, hells yeah! musta come in a bit too hot, nahmeen? i was totally shralpin the $#!t outa that $#!t. totally GETTIN SICKER and i just blew the f(&* up! i mean, i probly tomahawked like six times!"
"dude! too bad you wasn't in the air, man! thata been like a sexTOOPLE back nine, nahmeen?"
"ah, hells YEAH, man! some footy a that'd make a SIIIIIICK edit!!!!"

hope this helps.

help me

Just needing a little clarification, bros. "Schadenfruede": is that when the stuff in the fruit bowl sits long enough to get saggy and darkens up? Hey, did you 2 slublings (I feel really close to you 3 so I have created this contraction to express a joining of the concepts of "siblings" and "club members") know there have been SIX profile views of either our blog, or of me, and I think I was only one or at most 2 of them? How many times have you 2 looked at the profiles? I think somebody else looked at us.

.....Are YOU looking at us? .... then what the hingeringbirdsocks ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

last week.

speaking of skiing, i've a week left "inn town" before i head back to the hills for the winter to tune skis and ACTUALLY GET TIPPED. i'm tryna absorb all the ballard i can handle, which means i am at home, alone, hiding out again. i did grab a cherry stout at the dray and a slice a "pep" at crash landing, but other than that, my contact with the outside world has been some text from my "CO buddy" who' in socal at a jason mraz show. (took all the restraint i had to NOT say anything about that one cos she was way excited and i din't wanna use my "superpower" on her. which, if you din't know, is "bitterness" according to a friend.) to follow, a short list of "things i will tell you i will miss, whether they ring true or not".
1) not going to parties. (there you go, "club buddy". invited or not, one should definitely hide from them. parties are THE DEVIL!!!!)
2) all the hipsters. really. i need me some a that good ol'fashioned schadenfreude.
3) other people's shitty bikes. those test rides where i think ima die? glorious.
4) the bums. i mean this one. crystal has no "bums" in the conventional sense--though we're all bums in the eyes of "society" up there--and it's these rummies i'll miss seeing. all the skinny legged potbellies, the "garbash yelling" they do to one another, the "museum pieces" made of rags in grocery carts posting up randomly and completely "unattendedly" on the sidewalk behind the shop. . .i could go on. (but i said "short".)
5) attractive women. i really mean this one. ski joints the world over are renowned for their "male to female rations" in excess of 4,000 to 1. not so, ballard. i mean, what can be better than seeing hundreds, maybe thousands of women who want ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU? we "artistik" types need that "unrequieted" longing to help in "curating" our "artistiks". it's too "temptating" to forget that women exist when they. . .um. . .don't exist.
6) being REALLY FAR FROM EVERYTHING. seattle as a "metropopulous" is lauded in the "editorical" world as being "centrally located". which to me has become synonymous (that's an ugly word, aesthetically) with "centrally located WAY THE HECK AWAY FROM EVERYTHING I WANNA DO". two hour drives to a pass? done. cramping after a hike from driving too far? done AND DONE.
7) arguing about the viaduct. 'nuff said.
8) arguing about the mayoral race. "mike bikes?" um, i could be mayor by that definition. joe "i useta run t mobile" mallahan? i useta "run" a "performance" bike shop. same same.
9) self righteous bike commuters. here's why i ride my bike to work: i'd be "a" utter moron not to. parking in this town's a joke. (i'm sure we're not unique in that sense.) driving in this town's a joke. (same same.) riding my bike is fun. "exercisional". OUTFKNSIDE. cars are not. i DO NOT CARE that you are "one less car". that you get--by "dirt rag's" computation--"486 miles to the gallon". that you are "green". i'm green, too, WHEN I HAVE A STOMACH BUG AND I'M PUKIN MY GUTS OUT ALL UP IN EVERYBUDDY'S TOILET BIDNESS.
10) "the stranger's" self righteousness. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU EMBRACE ALL "STROLLS" OF LIFE. I DO, TOO, BY DOING WHAT MOST PEOPLE WANT: BY LEAVING THEM THE F*&^ ALONE. it is a bit funny to me that in the "features section" they blast the south park "hooters" while in the tail end (haha) of the paper they post up all kinda ads for "escorter services". it's also frustrating, cos dan savage is actually a minor deity.
11) all this "neighbourhoodism". south park's better than maple leaf? okay. good for you. NOW SHUT UP. free ballard? last i checked, it's actually quite expensive. i'm payin 5 benjis for a BEDROOM. and i live in "east ballard", more "colourifically" known as "phinney ditch". HAVE YOU SEEN SUNSET HILL?? definitely not "free". unless you're one a them "rummy types".
12) and again, this is somewhat "sincerical": having so damn much to "complainicate" about. living in snow, a short drive away from skiing my brains out, among like minded individuals, i don't know, i get just a wee tad complaisant. (thank you, "601 words you need to know to pass your exam"!!)
aight. ima go cry myself to sleep. alone. again. peace.

Whoops!

I made the mistake of clicking on "next blog" at the top of the page, and up pops a big picture of a happy looking couple of strangers I never invited over! Weird.

I'm gonna muse a bit here, and try to puzzle out some feelings. I didn't go to an "Event" tonight that many of my friends went to, because I didn't think I could top off a busy day with something more, and I didn't want to try to find nearby parking when 82 people were expected! I didn't REALLY want to go. But now that I didn't go -- my own decision -- I'm feeling left out. How can that be? What's going on here?

I totally understand a hermit that can honestly say "don't care for weddings..... never go....." but if I invited that hermit to a "paaaahdee" and that hermit turned me down, I'd wince - at least.

Help me out, willyah?

next year, same time. . .

it's ten/ten. next year it will be ten/ten/ten. to quote russell from "almost famous", "think about that."

i went to the "enumclaw oktoberfest" last night. i know, i know, oktoberfest is actually in september, but leave it to enumclaw to "rock" a festivities later than the traditional "Münchener" festivities and to "rock" said festivities USING THE SAME PARKING LOT AS THE HIGH SCHOOL HOMECOMING FOOTBALL GAME. good plan. after "curating" my own parking spot and one for my male "oktoberfest buddy" where none truthfully existed, things actually went pretty well. there were a bunch of "duscher" guys carrying way expensive denim and fancy-printed t-shirts that according to my "oktoberfest buddies" probly cost a couple "benjamins", some people running around with bibs printed with the "archetypical" "mädchen chest"--a "boob bib"--and lots of silliness associated with the fact that the only people there were high school teachers and the students they taught three to fifteen years ago. there were also lots of women who looked like they buy their makeups at the "used" section and their clothing at the "look at my boobs not my face" section. i mean, there were lotsa boobs. i don't tend to frequent that sorta get-together. the beer selection--you know, the "raison d'aitre"--was, um, disappointing. each vendor had only two or three taps, and most chose to be "originalish" and posted up his or her own "oktoberfest" and probly a "german pils". a couple went "way" out on a limb to post "brown" ales, and my female "oktoberfest buddy" "rocked" a "ginger pale" from some high minded brewery calling itself the "trade route" brewery, but on the whole, the "fillosafee" seemed to be "variety is NOT the spice of life." also, even though two of us grew up in enumclaw, we must have looked outa place cos we got asked if we were "from seattle". which is akin to asking a portlander if he or she is "from los angeles". "last call" was an angry, "yelly" man running around "gettin all up in everybuddy's shit" and telling them they had a "half hour" to finish their beers. all five ounces of it. all in all, though, an amusing evening if not a dramatic one. oh, and this slightly-less-than-random (and kinda hot) woman with whom i used to work rushed up to us and told my male "oktoberfest buddy" that she "love[s his] parents" probly four times before giving me a mushy, drunken hug. which i totally appreciated. even though i don't think she remembers my name.

maybe i'm missing out.

1) loveland ski area is opening tomorrow. wednesday, OCTOBER FKN 7TH!!!! WHAT??!! it's still summer in ballard!!!!!

2) skating rinks. cos i'm SO graceful, i should be out there, "makin tha chicks", "droppin" some sick "pick me up" lines. i can do better than that "los angeles" dude!!! WATCH THIS: "have you seen my heart anywhere? no? you sure? COS YOU JUST STOLE IT!" HAHAHAHA. wait. that's not at all the same. and actually, being skated around a rink by someone who appears to be good at it sounds kinda fun. um, lemme get back to you.

3) my coworker says he's gonna take some classes at the art institute, or as he calls it, "AI". i'm jealous. I WANNA DEGREE IN "AI"!! what better thing to know in these troubled times than how to build robots who have personalities? i could create my own friends. have them grow sporty "moustachios". teach them how to "drop" some good "convos" about "politik". MAYBE WE COULD MAKE A MOVIE TOGETHER! CALL IT "A.I.". wait. that's already been done. um, lemme get back at ya.

4) there's an older woman at the "computations consolium" next to me. she's carrying a righteous "hairsnet", sorta like an older white woman's "venison" of the "archetypical" hispanic gangster "hairsnet". except she isn't wearing a gun. i could carry a "hairsnet"! wait. i'm "balding". um, lemme get back to you.

5) chipotle burritos. a friend texted me today to say she was tired, an hour and a half from the end of a meeting, and to say "I WANT A CHIPOTLE BURRITO RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!" i told her i din't believe in "chipotle burritos" cos i'd never seen one. she said i was silly, that they do indeed exist, possibly curated by "faeries".

6) there are three people palping laptops in the "us bancorp reading room". just think: if i wore a laptop, I COULD BE IN THE "US BANCORP READING ROOM" TOO!!!!

in other news, today was "one of those days". i toasted a brand new bearing cartridge on 3 grand worth of "classic blur" by santa cruz. (incidentally, i HATE that company. arrogant southern "californica" surfer jerks.) smashed my finger with a hammer doing so. installed a new "hydro" brake on a different--and i do mean "different"--dude's bike, noticed it was squishy--which is good in suspension, bad in braking--and proceeded to bleed it twice, each of which was less effective than the other. and MY SHIRT HAS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF STAINY BIDNESS ALL UP IN THE FRONT!!!! it's my favouritist brown t-shirt, too. it says "beecher's hand made chesse" on the back. i said something about this to another friend and she said to "think of how funny a fat motorcycle cop looks." not too "curatorically sensitative", but it definitely cheered me up. after i got up from falling over.

a'ight. ima go call my brother and yell at him for living in CO, land of REALLY EARLY SKI SEASONS . (though the "skiing" they do resembles nothing i've seen in the cascades. the "telemarkers" in CO are actually "balleritos", and the alpiners are afraid of sliding snow. they call 40 degree pitches "xtreme", think 6 inches is a "hella deep day" and call anything over 8% "concrete". to quote "jay-z"--or what is kanye?--"NUH UH. CAN'T TELL ME NUH' EN!") peace.

dang

Last night at the roller skating rink a total stranger (similar to Harry Belafonte but with longer legs and wearing pressed blue jeans) said "Let's give your kid something to talk about," and squired me suavely around for an entire couples skate (according to the PA system this is TWO PEOPLE SKATING TOGETHER WHO MUST!!!! BE HOLDING HANDS), including (him) doing moves like skating backwards and passing me from side to side while (still him) saying "I thought you said you weren't any good at this!" and (me) doing basically nothing at all except being propelled in graceful swoops while not falling over. Afterwards I finally found SWMBT in the snack bar where, it turned out, she had missed the whole thing in favor of turning her tongue blue with an energy drink. "Really?" she said "REALLY?? The crazy guy who thinks he is at a bus stop?" *

In other news, I have so much housework that it is making me feel some triste 43% the size of the Hindenburg. And the doorknob is falling off the front door of this place. (!)

*I was reading a New Yorker magazine for a few non skating minutes in the din there and the skater guy introduced himself by saying "Is this the place to wait for a bus to Los Angeles?" I said "uh...YES IT IS." Then we sat there silently, or I think so at least, until a specialty skate number was announced where people who know how to dance on skates go do it. So he said "I think this is my bus now," and went and did it. I of course immediately gleefully found SWMBT and told her. It seems none of it computed with her.

Below ground trivia....

Now this musing truly is trivia, so click out if you've the urge. I'll never know the dif.

Earlier this week, at 12:35 P.M. on Tuesday, there was a brief power outage. Drat! All the clocks and timers to re-set, each with a different system.

Then on Thursday ... my helper bee, at my request, dug a $10 hole for transplanting two $5 plants. She discovered 1" of so-called topsoil, and right below it, a five or six inch layer of polished river rocks, the size of your clenched fist. They're WONDERFUL! The pricey kind you get by the bushel from a nursery. I've hauled them away to my back yard, lest Manuel, our maintenance-guy think they're his job to move.

Got to thinking...... hm-m-m, I know this place, this 10 acres or so that these condos are on, was a brick yard, way-back-when.

But before that, way way way eons before that, this whole sharply declining terrain between two ridges was a rushing river bed! Boggles my thought, weak in geology as I am.

Put into perspective, what meaning has that power outage? Was it even a blip in the history of this place?

long night.

apparently, my roommates are brighter than i thought. after "not-partying" last monday for the previously mentioned happy 2-0, they had a buncha people over last night and proceeded to "get after it".
some highlights:
1) a girl, freshly 21, we'll call her "sarah", argues with another partyer about "who hasta be drunk first." sarah proclaims that she CAN NEVER BE FIRST. i go downstairs to my room as someone, we'll call him "ed", hands her a glass of "vodka beverage". twenny minutes later i come back upstairs and she's stumbling drunk.
2) my newly twenny year old roommate, we'll call him "luke" regales me for ten minutes about how "shitty" it's gonna be retaining a new roommate when i leave for the hills in a month. "we'll hafta teach him how to do dishes and not steal our food and not drink our liquor. . ." he then admits these are "all things we don't honour ourselves."
3) i tell my roommates of five months how to actually pronounce my name, at which point the senior house member's girlfriend, we'll call her "patricia", gets remarkably angry at me and tells me to "never break this sorta news when (she's) this drunk."
4) after a small catnap, i hear sarah and ed talking outside my room. i catnap again, briefly, and wake up in time to hear a now entirely shitty sarah open my door and yell "SEX!!!" and promptly close my door.
5) lotsa loud music and thumping, which i for a moment investigate only to find all the skinny, young, upperclass white kids "dancing" awkwardly to some fairly aggressive "hippityhoppity", the foremost of which was ed, "rocking" his best weak-kneed interpretation of the "can-can does the hindenburg". i think he may have been doing it backward, cos instead of crossing his legs when kicking so to balance himself, he kinda lifted them to the side and almost fell over.
6) ed, still outside my door, pleadingly tells sarah they need to go back to his place. "BUT I HAVE A FIFTH OF VODKA!!!" he whines. i don't hear her answer, but i assume it was "nonaffirmative" cos his whimpering gets even more desperate and whiny.
and finally,
7) curtains. i wake up to a new morning and go to get some coffee and read the new richard russo novel, which i hope is better than bridge of sighs. that one was more like bridge of oh! i fell asleep! and as such was the most disappointing book ever cos russo's collection of shorts and his first five novels were amazing enough that i still get misty when reading them.

my library timer is telling me to go away. i shall.

my hands smell of linseed oil.

this is because i built a wheel. this in turn makes me WAY AWESOME.

in other news, the projected low (or "lo" as noaa likes to put it in "shorterhand") for leadville is 12 degrees fahrenheit. this is grossly "nonfair". the projected "lo" for ballard is in the upper fifties. how can i ready myself for the colds of winter amidst such mild "weathe"? and speaking of "shorterhand", the cats at noaa also like to call for a "hi" of whatever. maybe i've got this wrong ("rong"?), but i thought "hi" was an american "salutatory effect". maybe that one's actually sposeta be "i", but i think that'd "caus som mor" mischief. i realise that "high" might look to someone who is not an english "spaker" to be "pronounciated" more along the line of "hig", but anyone checking noaa's website for the "weathe" most likely does "spake" enough english--noaa is an american agency, after all--to understand the word "high". "" could be "rong".

in other other news, i woke up this morning roughly 2 minutes after i usually try to be at work. (which is a "haf our" before i'm scheduled to be there.) this is bad. I'M PRETTY SURE THE WORLD STOPS TURNING IF I'M LATE TO WORK!!! i felt out of sorts until i got coffee. i know what you possibly are thinking: "silly caffination junkee." actually, the girl pumping coffee was "dropping" a "practice latté" and i interrupted her. when she looked up, she SMILED AS THOUGH I HAD "UNNUMERABLY" BRIGHTENED HER DAY. which in turn "UNNUMERABLY" BRIGHTENED MINE. i asked if she needed to make a "practice americano" but she said she had it covered. at which point her boss made me a "professorial americano" and i was slightly disappointed cos i figured a "practice americano" might carry a hint of her smile with it and the "professorial" one merely tasted amazing. o wel, tomoro's anothe da.