last night on the way in to town to purchase groceries in the safeway, i saw an interesting parking "situ". it was mostly dark, so i saw the arrangement of the car's lights and little else, but what i saw was certainly enlightening: brake lights to the sky and headlights to the mostly dry river bed. i'm certain that most folks would have stopped and offered help, but given the location of said parking "situ", i decided against it. in order to reach his parking spot, the driver had to brake heavily (unless he was going slow already), line up the vehicle with the narrow driveway that one has to already know to exist as it is entirely unmarked and it was almost draconian dark in the trees, enter the driveway, ignore the sinking feeling one gets upon seeing the "end of the road" and simply "keep on keepin' on" until the river rock and pools of last week's high water were filling the windshield. knowing the white river drainage as i do, i understand that there's a small chance of misjudging where the "end of the road" really is, but it's a small one. there is a great deal of silt from last january's atmospheric river, and it is safe to walk on, so it's possible that the driver assumed it's also safe to drive two tons of plastic on, but other than that, the only explanation i can raise is that the driver really wanted a close-up of emmons glacier silt and millennia-old boulders, in which case, he was wholly and quickly successful.
in tangientially related news, november was wet. with all the el niño tv news weather punditry going on, i thought i'd add my two cents' worth and offer a forecast rife with local knowledge and history: it's winter. shit's gonna happen.
30 November 2009
26 November 2009
DO NOT INTERFERE IN THE AFFAIRS OF DRAGONS, FOR YOU ARE CRUNCHY AND GO GOOD WITH KETCHUP!
My reading hunger could be totally satisfied with bumper stickers and discarded shopping lists I've found in grocery store carts and parking lots. The stickers are glimpses at a polished cleverness I wish I had. The lists are windows into what people are REALLY doing, what is important to them. They're like glimpses into 2nd floor walk-ups seen from the windows of a speeding-by commuter train. From them, one gets a feeling we're all really pretty much alike, as contrasted with the uniqueness of someone who can come up with "Somewhere in Texas, there's a village that's lost its idiot."
23 November 2009
making lefse while the potatoes are dry.
scene: eastbound highway 410 by the enumclaw safeway, around noon. i'm driving the subie along the "right turn" lane, blinkerless, next to a mid-nineties model chevrolet suburban. as i slow to execute the mandatory right on "watson road" (as the courier-herald calls it, not "watson street" as the city of enumclaw calls it), i notice two of those white window decal thingies. one escapes my attention cos it mumbles something "pastorial" about salmon, and the other grabs me like a claw hammer: "ditch the bitch lets go fishing". before we tackle the appalling lack punctuation and the overt misuse of My Language, "lets" pick apart the sentiment.
first, is he trying to make a clever pun? "ditch" and "fishing", y'know, the water, fish, the ditch where the dude probly fishes since there's one in front of his hovel and he can cast a line without actually scouting or worse, working? it may be a bit of a stretch, but i'm willing to grant him clever.
second, unless i miss my guess, given the timbre of the dude's countenance, the "bitch" is most likely his sister, who had to take him in when his mom kicked him out for the fifth and "final" time when she found his basement "meth kitchen". while i'm certain his sister is no saint--again, judging by his countenance--she absolutely does not deserve to be called a "bitch" by the man she took in when their own mother couldn't even take him any more.
third, given my own "love" life, i'd say "hangin" with a "bitch" is far more interesting than waiting for a coldblooded mouthbreather to be fooled by a metal hook floating in the lake. i mean, i'm down with water and trees and nature and all, but i don't get mucha that cuddly bidness, and i ain't about to give any up if i miraculously find some.
"abitmoreover", "lets" tackle the actual "phraseologie".
first, the motive. are punctuation marks more expensive than letters? i'd think the fish in the middle--intricate, though subtle, as it is--would cost more than any simple lettering. maybe commas, periods, apostrophes and their friends are considered gratuitous by the "graffix" community and thus charged for exponentially. having never priced these sorts of "mods" for the subie, i do not at this point know. one other consideration is that there are many choices of just which punctuation one should use: "Ditch the bitch, let's go fishing." "Ditch the bitch! Let's go fishing!" "Ditch the bitch who lets you go fishing; I want to date her!" okay, maybe the last is aslo a stretch, but you "get my drift".
second, the effect. basically, i threw up in my mouth a little.
third, the "vaguity". at this point, including, but not limited to, all the previously mentioned questions, i really don't know what the dude is saying. sure, it could be simple, an encouragement to a friend who's in a bad relationship. the dude could be saying, á la dan savage, "dtmfa". (um, in polite company, "break up with her already.) there could be more complicated messages, such as, "you know, bud, one afternoon a month isn't much to ask. just tell your wife you need an afternoon out with the guys, some cheap tallboys and a fishing pole to reset your psyche." maybe it's a grand "exhortational" to all men to "reclaim their manhood". maybe the dude just never graduated third grade and shouldn't be allowed to drive his tank until he does.
maybe i shouldn't say anything, cos after seeing the decal, i "text discussed" it with my "portland buddy" for a half hour, which, if all the literature and studies and politicians and state patrolmen are to be believed, is more dangerouser than the dude's vagrant illiteracy. maybe, to paraphrase my "portland buddy", i should just "calm down and have some lefse." tasty as that sounds, though, i'd rather be an @$$#()!&.
first, is he trying to make a clever pun? "ditch" and "fishing", y'know, the water, fish, the ditch where the dude probly fishes since there's one in front of his hovel and he can cast a line without actually scouting or worse, working? it may be a bit of a stretch, but i'm willing to grant him clever.
second, unless i miss my guess, given the timbre of the dude's countenance, the "bitch" is most likely his sister, who had to take him in when his mom kicked him out for the fifth and "final" time when she found his basement "meth kitchen". while i'm certain his sister is no saint--again, judging by his countenance--she absolutely does not deserve to be called a "bitch" by the man she took in when their own mother couldn't even take him any more.
third, given my own "love" life, i'd say "hangin" with a "bitch" is far more interesting than waiting for a coldblooded mouthbreather to be fooled by a metal hook floating in the lake. i mean, i'm down with water and trees and nature and all, but i don't get mucha that cuddly bidness, and i ain't about to give any up if i miraculously find some.
"abitmoreover", "lets" tackle the actual "phraseologie".
first, the motive. are punctuation marks more expensive than letters? i'd think the fish in the middle--intricate, though subtle, as it is--would cost more than any simple lettering. maybe commas, periods, apostrophes and their friends are considered gratuitous by the "graffix" community and thus charged for exponentially. having never priced these sorts of "mods" for the subie, i do not at this point know. one other consideration is that there are many choices of just which punctuation one should use: "Ditch the bitch, let's go fishing." "Ditch the bitch! Let's go fishing!" "Ditch the bitch who lets you go fishing; I want to date her!" okay, maybe the last is aslo a stretch, but you "get my drift".
second, the effect. basically, i threw up in my mouth a little.
third, the "vaguity". at this point, including, but not limited to, all the previously mentioned questions, i really don't know what the dude is saying. sure, it could be simple, an encouragement to a friend who's in a bad relationship. the dude could be saying, á la dan savage, "dtmfa". (um, in polite company, "break up with her already.) there could be more complicated messages, such as, "you know, bud, one afternoon a month isn't much to ask. just tell your wife you need an afternoon out with the guys, some cheap tallboys and a fishing pole to reset your psyche." maybe it's a grand "exhortational" to all men to "reclaim their manhood". maybe the dude just never graduated third grade and shouldn't be allowed to drive his tank until he does.
maybe i shouldn't say anything, cos after seeing the decal, i "text discussed" it with my "portland buddy" for a half hour, which, if all the literature and studies and politicians and state patrolmen are to be believed, is more dangerouser than the dude's vagrant illiteracy. maybe, to paraphrase my "portland buddy", i should just "calm down and have some lefse." tasty as that sounds, though, i'd rather be an @$$#()!&.
22 November 2009
happy old pirates
It rained like washing of the Hindenburg last night & every time I woke up in I thought "Why am I so happy?" and then I went back to sleep like the air rushing very quickly and silently out of a tiny hole in the Hindenburg. In the morning it was still raining. That other voice in my head tried to figure it out for me. "Because you are sleeping on the couch. Your couch is very old (and conveniently long) but not actually dirty if you don't look at too closely. This is a rare combination. Sleeping on a couch when also have a bed makes a person feel as rich as Brandon Roy, and the back of the couch makes you feel like you are sleeping with a person (a person who minds their own business). Dude, you DO realize we already went over all this a few years ago when you were trying to figure out why half the old ladies you know sleep on their couches instead of their beds?"
But that wasn't it.
The other other voice said or it might be because the gutters were all blocked and the rain falls in a curtain of water all around the house, like a Disneyland pirate ride, only with less brightly colored plastic and other people's children and it was okay to go to sleep during it. And I should think about money making opportunities in the gutter blocking field for the gutters of depressed insomniac persons who would instantly be healed by the all night pirate ride long couch imaginary sleepover Autumn rainstorm experience.
But that wasn't it.
The other other voice said or it might be because the gutters were all blocked and the rain falls in a curtain of water all around the house, like a Disneyland pirate ride, only with less brightly colored plastic and other people's children and it was okay to go to sleep during it. And I should think about money making opportunities in the gutter blocking field for the gutters of depressed insomniac persons who would instantly be healed by the all night pirate ride long couch imaginary sleepover Autumn rainstorm experience.
19 November 2009
I understand you're anxiously awaiting (with baited breath, no less) my next opine..... (am I using that word correctly?) and I apologize for causing you such discomfort. I had to dust my plants.
Have just discovered an amazing fakt about myself, me, the worst speler the Chicago publik skools ever gradiated! I was playing a game of Boggle on-line; you remember the one where I ocasionaly clime out of the very low scorring sekshun into the low sekshun? Well! I found the word "man" -- typed it in -- and low and beehold, it's an "ultra rare word" for which I got six points, instead of the usual 2! Imagine that! I've been looking for hard words, but it seems the easier ones are more vallubull. I do beter in the game where I look for three leter words instead of four leter ones two.
This is getting tiring -- for me and for you. Go back to holding your breath......
17 November 2009
the FBC "resumé".
it's raining today, so i don't hafta be out "actually doing something". this gives me time to update my "rësumè". and actually, since i haven't really "looked for a job" in almost two full years, it gives me time to make an entire new one. here goes.
FBC, esq.
okay, really, do you need my mailing address and phone number? cos i don't feel comfortable giving you that information. the government knows where i am, and you can probly buy the info from experian or jp morgan chase anyway.
{cover letter}
if you are looking at this "rêumé", you probly already know that i am awesome. you should hire me to do whatever it is that "awesome people" do at in your corporation, and "compensitise" me handsomely. like, seriously. i'm talkin vintage '05, beechwood aged, extra sharp, "prívate label" cheddar. the kind that come with a warning label. none a that off-brand corner shit. cos i'm awesome, and that's what i get paid to be. you're gonna want me as your #1 teamster.
{"employment" history}
all right. once again, you can find this information elsewhere. instead, ima use this space to "drop" all my "exprientialistic" bidness.
1. i started skiing when i was 18 months old. that makes me a) brilliant and b) awesome.
2. i totally slayed the lionel hampton jazz festival when i was like 16. got a "solo award" and everything. if you din't already know, "solo award" mean "don't need no damn backing band."
3. i can drive a tractor.
4. did i mention that my name is finnish for "awesome"?
5. one time, i hit my oldest brother in the head with a potato for agreeing with me.
6. another time, i hit my middle brother in the head with a rock, cos it was there.
7. i once took a "writing class" from "contemporary crime writer" g.m. ford. what?!
8. my subaru is gold, and i've only seen two like it. theirs weren't as awesome cos i wasn't driving them.
9. see number 4.
10. see number 1.
11. see number 3.
{references}
aight, listen up, cos i'm on'y gone say dis once.
1. i skied on the same pitch at relatively the same time as ingrid backstrom, aka "the best damn female skier ever". her pops gave me a hug on father's day '07. she done tole me i make "nice turns". deez.
2. i rode the chair a couple spots back from laura ogden, aka "women's ifsa world champion" in like '06, once.
3. the last show i played was opening for david bazan.
this is good. i can already feel the cheddar startin to flow.
FBC, esq.
okay, really, do you need my mailing address and phone number? cos i don't feel comfortable giving you that information. the government knows where i am, and you can probly buy the info from experian or jp morgan chase anyway.
{cover letter}
if you are looking at this "rêumé", you probly already know that i am awesome. you should hire me to do whatever it is that "awesome people" do at in your corporation, and "compensitise" me handsomely. like, seriously. i'm talkin vintage '05, beechwood aged, extra sharp, "prívate label" cheddar. the kind that come with a warning label. none a that off-brand corner shit. cos i'm awesome, and that's what i get paid to be. you're gonna want me as your #1 teamster.
{"employment" history}
all right. once again, you can find this information elsewhere. instead, ima use this space to "drop" all my "exprientialistic" bidness.
1. i started skiing when i was 18 months old. that makes me a) brilliant and b) awesome.
2. i totally slayed the lionel hampton jazz festival when i was like 16. got a "solo award" and everything. if you din't already know, "solo award" mean "don't need no damn backing band."
3. i can drive a tractor.
4. did i mention that my name is finnish for "awesome"?
5. one time, i hit my oldest brother in the head with a potato for agreeing with me.
6. another time, i hit my middle brother in the head with a rock, cos it was there.
7. i once took a "writing class" from "contemporary crime writer" g.m. ford. what?!
8. my subaru is gold, and i've only seen two like it. theirs weren't as awesome cos i wasn't driving them.
9. see number 4.
10. see number 1.
11. see number 3.
{references}
aight, listen up, cos i'm on'y gone say dis once.
1. i skied on the same pitch at relatively the same time as ingrid backstrom, aka "the best damn female skier ever". her pops gave me a hug on father's day '07. she done tole me i make "nice turns". deez.
2. i rode the chair a couple spots back from laura ogden, aka "women's ifsa world champion" in like '06, once.
3. the last show i played was opening for david bazan.
this is good. i can already feel the cheddar startin to flow.
16 November 2009
the dog is cold-nosing my elbow.
my mom called me all excited this morning cos her neighbour--we'll call her judy--had just shot an elk in the pasture. she sounded breathless and excited, saying that judy had offered the entire elk to my parents. "we hafta buy a new freezer now!!" the free elk meat wasn't her favourite part, though. "they gave us the ENITIRE liver!!!!" o. m. g. i hadda change my oil today, so i was over there and had dinner (no liver for me) and she and my father bantered back and forth about how "smooth" and "tender" the liver was. "it doesn't taste nearly as strong as a bouef liver!" sounded like my alcoholic boss at baker telling me that johnny walker red was "real smooth; good 'sippin' whiskey." (i hate whiskey more than almost anything.) at one point, my father exclaimed that it was the "best liver ever!!" which i liken to "being in the best automobile accident ever" or "going on the best 'worst date' ever". i'd rather be alone.
after work last night, i had some beers and dinner with my coworkers and my boss at the bullwheel and we chatted about relationships. my "outside coworker" is in a rough patch with her "other" and we were letting her talk it out. somehow my and my boss' "love" lives came up. my boss has been mostly single for the past two years and i have been completely single since, um, john lennon was shot. anyway, my "outside coworker" said the new bartender would be good for our boss, then corrected herself saying he "needs a girl who shaves her legs and stuff." (meaning a "nice, clean, traditional woman".) then she looked to me and said, with no irony evident, "actually, she'd be perfect for you!" snort. thanks, bud! i hope she meant i'm not hung up on stuff like that, cos i like to think i'm not, but it kinda felt like one of those "take what you can get" moments. oh well. i once tried to date a woman who could have killed me with a single punch. when she gave me a "practice massage" it felt like getting "practice rocks" thrown at my kidneys and scapulae from, oh, 7.5 inches away.
after work last night, i had some beers and dinner with my coworkers and my boss at the bullwheel and we chatted about relationships. my "outside coworker" is in a rough patch with her "other" and we were letting her talk it out. somehow my and my boss' "love" lives came up. my boss has been mostly single for the past two years and i have been completely single since, um, john lennon was shot. anyway, my "outside coworker" said the new bartender would be good for our boss, then corrected herself saying he "needs a girl who shaves her legs and stuff." (meaning a "nice, clean, traditional woman".) then she looked to me and said, with no irony evident, "actually, she'd be perfect for you!" snort. thanks, bud! i hope she meant i'm not hung up on stuff like that, cos i like to think i'm not, but it kinda felt like one of those "take what you can get" moments. oh well. i once tried to date a woman who could have killed me with a single punch. when she gave me a "practice massage" it felt like getting "practice rocks" thrown at my kidneys and scapulae from, oh, 7.5 inches away.
13 November 2009
9.30 is now bedtime.
i miss riding my bike to work. i'd do it now, but it's like 40 miles one way, and like 3600' of elevation gain. i'd have already had to head out to make it there for tomorrow. guess i'm just gonna hafta get sicker. one does this by striking bodybuilder poses in front of the mirror and shotgunning 160s of red bull.
peace.
peace.
12 November 2009
My Annual Angst
Bought my first Christmas gift this morning.....a pretty fun table game called Connect Four. It seems enjoyable to any age person, although grand-munchkin Max is a bit shaky seeing four matching pieces in a row on the diagonal. Totally inoffensive (on this game at least) he LOVES "blocking Lucy", the big sister. We applaud when he accidentally scores four in a-row, but I'm not sure he sees it.
Back to the angst. I have a real challenge, selecting gifts for others, when my strongest inclination is to donate to some charity, or buy a water buffalo for a family in a third world country. We usually buy things for others that WE like, and have a hard time selecting something we really know THEY would like.
What do I hope for under MY tree? Good question.......
10 November 2009
on the clubhouse wall
Dudes. I worked in a Union 76 gas station for a while, too! I guess it is a requirement of Helmet Club. It was back in 1976. I did not work in a 99 cent store in 1999. I remember Lee, the woman who managed the Union 76, telling me how to (in case I ever needed to, which she believed I might) rip the jugular vein right out of an attacking Doberman. By not immediately practicing this skill, I have probably forgotten the details. Lee smoked cigarillos but pretended not to do it near the gas.
People are always trying to teach me things, but I tell them to shut their pie hole because I have plenty of wise things in my head already, and am very busy burning them into pieces of wood with beveled edges. The following are available in router edged wall plaques:
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
People are always trying to teach me things, but I tell them to shut their pie hole because I have plenty of wise things in my head already, and am very busy burning them into pieces of wood with beveled edges. The following are available in router edged wall plaques:
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
08 November 2009
curating my brand.
apparently i need work on my "social media image". people seem to think i've never heard of "bloodshot records" or "insurgent country" when in fact i was listening to "outlaw country" in the womb. granted, waylon jennings was somewhat mainstream thirty years ago, but i do believe most of the "alt" or "insurgent" or "cosmic" or whatever "i gotta distance myself from nasheville country label you wanna put on it" artists would list him as a major influence. emmylou harris' "cimmaron" record put me to sleep my entire childhood. "another lonesome morning" still makes me shiver. i'm down with billy joe shaver. as to the bloodshot records label, um, ryan adams? not exactly "insurgent". maybe "drank like a river" was "insurgent" back in '97, but "stars go blue"? come on. tim "i'm with her" mcgraw covered it, and somehow made it sound less whiny. AND IT STILL "UDDERLY" SUCKED! in this day and age, listening to mainstream country radio just may be the only refuge for the "outlaw". watch this: I'M DOWN WITH MIRANDA LAMBERT. does that make you shudder? i hear her like three times a day on KMPS if i wanna. maybe more. WHAT?! CAN'T TELL ME NUT'EN!
anyway. on to more important things.
after like five inches of snow, crystal is posting up a "planning to maybe think about opening" day of wednesday, 11 november. don't know why they even bother. i mean, loveland opened on 7 OCTOBER FOR GOODNESS' SAKE. can you say "way behind the curve?" if crystal REALLY wanneda make waves, they'd build a "climate box" over the upper silver creek drainage and drop the temps starting in august for a 15 SEPTEMBER opening. then they'd really be "git'n'r done". the upside of all this wet slop falling from te sky is that i get a $2.50 raise when we open. somehow my "customer tunes" are more valuable than my "rental tunes". same "steeze", diff'rent "deez", i'd say. in fact, i should be worth more while tuning rentals, COS ALL DEM BITCHEZ BETTAH RECKANISE! y'know. "jus' sayin'".
oh, last thing--the green river ain't flooded yet, despite the best efforts of all the local mainstream media. funny how the stranger, which doesn't stand to make any money on the coverage of a flood, hasn't joined in the fray.
okay, this is really the last thing, and it ties together a couple themes: i ran out of gas on the way home from the hill thursday. about four miles from town. i'd anticipated this, and anywhere i could, i used my--wait for it--"georgia overdrive". y'know, "six days on the road"? gram "cosmic american music" parsons covered it? okay. maybe that's a stretch. but it reminded me of the first (not the only, dammit.) time i ran out of gas. i had a righteous '81 toyota tercel that i bought with my own money ($1700!!) back junior year of high school. i was in running start at green river my senior year cos there wasn't anything left at the high school cep jazz band and jazz choir and symphonic band and marching band and pep band (sense a theme here?), all of which i took for no credit cep jazz band cos it was zero hour. i also "worked"--read: got paid to do my homework--at the 76 station across from les schwab along with the 2nd trombone kid in jazz band. he was "dropping" some running start as well and we carpooled a lot cos, let's face it, i'm awesome and e'erbody wanna be seen wid me. (he also din't have a car or license, but that's secondary.) anyway, we were heading up 212th outa the green valley on the way to work, in uniform, and the toyota starts the "i'm melting, gimme gas" jig and we hadda pull over. ask for gas from neighbours, all the while carrying big "76" patches and stripes on the front of our matching blue jackets. righteous, indeed.
anyway. on to more important things.
after like five inches of snow, crystal is posting up a "planning to maybe think about opening" day of wednesday, 11 november. don't know why they even bother. i mean, loveland opened on 7 OCTOBER FOR GOODNESS' SAKE. can you say "way behind the curve?" if crystal REALLY wanneda make waves, they'd build a "climate box" over the upper silver creek drainage and drop the temps starting in august for a 15 SEPTEMBER opening. then they'd really be "git'n'r done". the upside of all this wet slop falling from te sky is that i get a $2.50 raise when we open. somehow my "customer tunes" are more valuable than my "rental tunes". same "steeze", diff'rent "deez", i'd say. in fact, i should be worth more while tuning rentals, COS ALL DEM BITCHEZ BETTAH RECKANISE! y'know. "jus' sayin'".
oh, last thing--the green river ain't flooded yet, despite the best efforts of all the local mainstream media. funny how the stranger, which doesn't stand to make any money on the coverage of a flood, hasn't joined in the fray.
okay, this is really the last thing, and it ties together a couple themes: i ran out of gas on the way home from the hill thursday. about four miles from town. i'd anticipated this, and anywhere i could, i used my--wait for it--"georgia overdrive". y'know, "six days on the road"? gram "cosmic american music" parsons covered it? okay. maybe that's a stretch. but it reminded me of the first (not the only, dammit.) time i ran out of gas. i had a righteous '81 toyota tercel that i bought with my own money ($1700!!) back junior year of high school. i was in running start at green river my senior year cos there wasn't anything left at the high school cep jazz band and jazz choir and symphonic band and marching band and pep band (sense a theme here?), all of which i took for no credit cep jazz band cos it was zero hour. i also "worked"--read: got paid to do my homework--at the 76 station across from les schwab along with the 2nd trombone kid in jazz band. he was "dropping" some running start as well and we carpooled a lot cos, let's face it, i'm awesome and e'erbody wanna be seen wid me. (he also din't have a car or license, but that's secondary.) anyway, we were heading up 212th outa the green valley on the way to work, in uniform, and the toyota starts the "i'm melting, gimme gas" jig and we hadda pull over. ask for gas from neighbours, all the while carrying big "76" patches and stripes on the front of our matching blue jackets. righteous, indeed.
04 November 2009
welcome to the future.
i've been listening to a lot of country radio over the past, i don't know, 36-83 weeks. maybe more. i never used to do this. honestly. scout's honour. there've been some good singles passing through, and some terrible ones and a lot of "meh". i've noticed that if a song's good, it better be REALLY good, cos they only "drop" like five songs in rotation. if you like a song, you better wanna hear it four or nine times a day. and there's a few dudes tryna "out-hick" each other. one guy has the line "climb on up/ but honey, watch the cup/ where i been spit'n muh dip tonight". din't realise "dip" was "literary". guess i was wrong.
in other news, my "hikng buddy" is in tennessee. she sent me a text saying she just got her butt kicked at "Racko". i have no idea what that is. my thought was "why are you up so late? it's almost 11 over there and my parents are already nodding off here at eight!" then i thought about my thought, and i thought, "maybe there's an answer to your thought within that thought." then i just stopped thinking. that's usually best.
in other other news, dinner tonight was some kinda potato coloured ham dish with potatoes. can't vouch for the potatoes, but there was one box shaped chunk that had more "torsional stiffness" than the rest of the goo, so i think it was potatoes. my mom works "in the kitchen" at a retirement home and she brings home leftovers and she and my dad think "FREE FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!" and i think. . .well. . .i've already covered that. and considering my reasoning for crashing here while waiting for snow is "FREE FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!" i've no place to be saying anything. so i ate it.
in other other other news, i started tuning skis today, finally, which was kinda cool. the most important part of my job is to stare out the window and keep tabs on all the toddler ski patrollers "in training". (which is probly exactly what you'd expect toddlers "in training" to be.) i can tell who they are among the rest of the mountain folk cos they all have identical green patagonia puffies and really clean "mountain khakis" brand fake carhartts and they follow each other around discussing how "world travel" is "real enrichening". if you say you don't have the money to travel, they look at you as though you're speaking a foreign language. the one they din't bother to learn in whatever impoverished country they visited cos "it's what poor people speak".
anyway. just practicing my superpower.
in other news, my "hikng buddy" is in tennessee. she sent me a text saying she just got her butt kicked at "Racko". i have no idea what that is. my thought was "why are you up so late? it's almost 11 over there and my parents are already nodding off here at eight!" then i thought about my thought, and i thought, "maybe there's an answer to your thought within that thought." then i just stopped thinking. that's usually best.
in other other news, dinner tonight was some kinda potato coloured ham dish with potatoes. can't vouch for the potatoes, but there was one box shaped chunk that had more "torsional stiffness" than the rest of the goo, so i think it was potatoes. my mom works "in the kitchen" at a retirement home and she brings home leftovers and she and my dad think "FREE FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!" and i think. . .well. . .i've already covered that. and considering my reasoning for crashing here while waiting for snow is "FREE FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!" i've no place to be saying anything. so i ate it.
in other other other news, i started tuning skis today, finally, which was kinda cool. the most important part of my job is to stare out the window and keep tabs on all the toddler ski patrollers "in training". (which is probly exactly what you'd expect toddlers "in training" to be.) i can tell who they are among the rest of the mountain folk cos they all have identical green patagonia puffies and really clean "mountain khakis" brand fake carhartts and they follow each other around discussing how "world travel" is "real enrichening". if you say you don't have the money to travel, they look at you as though you're speaking a foreign language. the one they din't bother to learn in whatever impoverished country they visited cos "it's what poor people speak".
anyway. just practicing my superpower.
02 November 2009
Non-conforming water fowl?
What happens when amongst 3 dozen or so Canadian geese, there isn't one single bird willing to be the Leader of the V?
I watched a long long long string of honking geese flying sorta north-west (and even THAT isn't according to the directions) today, all of them refusing to "fall in", "belly up", and "fly right!"
Global warming? Standard Pacific time? Genetic disposition to be non-conforming?
Perhaps they were rehearsing for some air show later in the month, and really just got beyond the cover of the trees and then rearranged themselves. One would hope.
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