140 is the new 90.

some important news headlines, brought to you by yahoo.com:
.lady gaga weeps at show.
.victoria's secret workouts.
.player blames higher power for mistake.
.fiji water leaves fiji.

now, i'm always interested in learning new things. i, for one, did not know that queen victoria had secret workouts. nor did i know that she was still alive. i was under the impression that she had died in 1901. apparently i was wrong.
secondly, i was also under the impression that fiji water has been leaving fiji for quite some time. i have been able to purchase it in "better" grocers for many years. not sure how this is news.
thirdly, i have no idea who lady gaga is. apparently babies are making records.
fourthly, blaming higher powers for mistakes is nothing new, either. most wars in recorded history have been fought under the same auspices.

some important news headlines, brought to you by king5:
.HS Football 2A Semifinals: Tumwater 63, E. Valley 27. ouch!
.La Nina: Be prepared for a harsher winter. let me trasnlate: "Ranina: გთხოვთ მომზადდეს ზამთარში, "განაცხადა მან."
.men growing moustaches for cancer awareness. now THERE'S some news i can relate to. i'm growing my moustache for awesomeness awareness!
.the fortysomething report: stop rudeness at the source. i din't realise "rudeness" was a quality of being "fortysomething". (or is it "fortisomething"?)

some important news headlines, brought to you by the hermit club:
.i'm not wearing socks.
.nor am i wearing underpants. i am wearing pajamas, however.
.i took a shower. i got clean. i used shampoo cos we are out of soap and are moving tomorrow to a new place where i have already been showering and as such have soap and don't want to buy soap for one place when i have soap at the other.
.there are sixteen tacks on the table next to me, all face down, sticker point up.
.i can make the door open and close almost imperceptibly by bouncing up and down on the exercise ball we're using for a computer chair cos it helps my back.
.a ski instructor offered me some poppy seed loaf he claimed would make me feel like i took acid. i declined. he claimed that the "combonation" of poppy and thc would do the trick.
.i shaved my face.
.for a little bit, the internet went haywire. then it stopped being haywire and started being normal again.
.i have skied approximately 905 days in the eleven seasons since since high school. i've been slacking the last six seasons, though, cos my first five i averaged 100 days a year.

anyway, it's been a slow day. i have my "Albertsons Preferred SAVINGS CARD" so things are looking up.

i'm sposeta be doing the dishes.

in really big news, the ground here around the "fram" is white. not from my dandruff, or anything, but from actual snow. the roads are a kinda "glazed doughnut" surface in spots where it hasn't been plowed and de-iced. heads is trippin, if you will. the forecast for this afternoon is "Snow. 27 around 17:00 temperatures fall later. Breezy, making 23 miles per hour between north and 20 miles northwest of 11-8 per hour winds east-southeast. 100% chance of rain. Susugi Tsumoru Sun 4-2 inches possible in total." for tomorrow: "sunny". i don't know if that's possible. this whole "snow" story has LEGS, bitchez! ima report it to death before it gets warm again. (sorry. some kiro-tv producers just hijacked my brain for a minute.)
in smaller news, i ate a lot last night. had some beer. it was fun. now i'm in my pajamas at 12.04 in the afternoon. on the way to tacoma from the hill last night i bought some "comfortsoft waistband™ premium boxer briefs" that feel kinda like pajamas, too. i like them, as long as i don't look at how unflattering they are. they kinda accentuate my "norwegianness".
also, crystal opened last friday on 16" of snow. that fell on top of the dirt. there were angry customers. i had a few who demanded free repairs. as though i had pulled them outa bed at gunpoint and demanded that they head to the hills and ski uncovered pitches on opening day. shrug. it was kinda funny.
(um, i think i got hijacked again.)
the world is gonna end. it's snowing so hard i can't pee. i'm going to stick my four hundred dollar snow boot in that three inches of snow to show you just how dangerous it is out there. don't go outside or the sky will fall on you. did i mention it's really cold and windy and snowy? it so snowy that it's white on the ground. leave everything to the experts or you'll all die.
(ah! got control back. them pesky news reporters.)
anyway, i think my work here is done.

The Way I See It.

the heads at crystal are tryna open this weekend based on a forecast that is already completely wrong. baker got snow, the lowlands got rain, alpy got snow, and there's four inches on the ground at crystal. hm.
with that, a full description of my day:
.woke up ready to go skiing.
.thought about skiing.
.went to go skiing, but first perused the avalanche centre's telemetry for chinook, saw that nothing had happened, but decided to hope for the best.
.should have perused the DOT site.
.thought about skiing.
.did not peruse the DOT site.
.got to buckley and saw the chinook pass distance covered by a "closed" sign.
.thought about skiing.
.thought that maybe that sign was left up from when it closed temporarily back in october.
.thought about skiing.
.got coffee.
.saw the signs in enumclaw that said "passes closed" and swore a bit.
.maybe punched the steering wheel. then the subie kinda chugged and wouldn't accelerate for a couple miles.
.got to the bottom of the boulevard as the ranger was securing the "closed for the winter" lock on the park gate. almost got out and called him unprintable names.
.got to the shop to tune a pair of skis and found that the power was out, negating the rest of my reasoning for going into the mountains in the first place.
.turned around and drove back home.
.thought about skiing.
.got distracted at the borders by ski and bike magazines.
.drove the rest of the way home.
.checked the clock--1.45 pm.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forecast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.checked the clock--1.47 pm.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at mt baker's snow report. decided that this is the only time of year howat isn't a complete idiot.
.thought about skiing.
.looked at the crystal snow report. tiana claims we'll get forty fkn inches by friday. so far we've got about ten. with no more storms coming. weird.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.took a shower. not cos i was dirty or sweaty, but cos it's what i do when i'm bored.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.got food.
.thought about skiing.
.watched some more extras on the new matchstick dvd.
.thought about skiing.
.peeled shallots. found out that they fit under the "onion" apron when it comes to teary eyes.
.thought about skiing.
.burned the leftover bacon that was in the pan.
.drank a beer.
.started sautéeing asparagus.
.thought about skiing.
.found out that one shouldn't put cayenne pepper in a hot skillet. and that it really hurts the eyes. and makes you cough. and your roommate disappear.
.undercooked the sausage.
.ate abuncha food. actually, despite the fuckups, it was awesome.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.checked the avalanche centre's telemetry again.
.looked at the weather service's forcast discussion.
.thought about skiing.
.drank a beer and ate chocolate (nature's recompense for a severe lack of snow).
.forgot whatever the hell it was i set out to do in life.

The low reliability of time.

in other news, it's sposeta snow all kinda tomorrow and tomorrow night. like almost two feet. granted, the upper silver creek drainage might get skipped as it often does, but still. the weather service is calling it a "winter storm watch". i like the sound of that. here's some more "traslation" of their forecast discussion:
"Short ... 50N 135W near being connected to enhance Low
KT is a strong 170 300 Megabaitomoderu jet trails that appear to develop
Lower system Megabaitoofupiku 980 985 ~ south Charlottes
Before Korea have declined in a way that you are abroad
Waters. Rain and mountain snow will accompany the front lines of this system
Early spread of water and land
Water, 12 hour reception 18Z QPF, and travels through Western Washington
At the level of the surrounding snow generally from 1.0 to 1.5 inches in the Cascade
That is 3000 feet, cascading look Winter Storm Warning
Good. In a short period of flow, detailed post-westerly winds may click here to keep
Go to the Cascades snow Wed night"

there is also mention of "modified arctic air", which always causes the tv weatherheads to go apeshit and start calling for "arctic blast 2010", which is fun to watch if a bit repetitive. i mean, there are "arctic blasts" every year or two, and none of us die aside from some incredible dumbasses who cook on charcoal grills in the kitchen. but hey! free entertainment!

here's some more:
"It is within a vicinity of the North wind along the coast and GET
The front will move through it. However, the strength of the jet ... read
In the northern interior of the frontal air must appear SELY
Jasutosutei under advisory level, the wind. POST west front of the Sun
Afternoon and evening that it expects the number of lighter
Wed night experience.

We break the soil between the front of the family is likely Wednesday
Low water and energy offshore wound. The AP
Please refer to the cloud ... luckily ... maybe some showers and SUNBREAKS ...
Yo 40s temperatures."

this is just too fun.
"GFS solution of southwest WA abeam considered low attenuation's
Beach Friday night, you will need to allow some of the cool air it
WA W bulb development in Western Canada is cold to instill 却湿
Moderate to low flow temperatures, the light of the AT 850 NELY
The ORDER - 3C is - 5C in the ON MB may cause some mixed precipitation
If it is heavy enough. Friday ... GFS has shows around the region
The Bellingham, E slopes of the Olympics ... and the universe ... Kanarufudo
Kitts Peninsula is likely to please see some snow. Temperature
It just closed. Continuing uncertainty around people ...
You must continually monitor the prediction that the area involved.
The low reliability of time. Albrecht

. Long-term debate over the long term, as follows: ... before ... there seems to be
Be sure to extend at least two lanes of snow. One is just that
Parking on the lower left of the cold air associated with the deep
Western Washington. Could easily have a few snow showers and rain all
Components. Beginning of a slump Friday night every night
Low in the mid 30s. Opportunity to use the bath, such as rain and snow
The text is mostly extended.

The second method, the revised polar involves passing an AIR OUT
Canada. Euro and GFS are not particularly strong
Brings cold air south ... but it remains possible. In this case,
The cold air mass will be enough snow for sure. However,
You can push all the clouds just outside the area of cold air.
The model also results, the first hint that a second display
We are both very dry. Any certainty, the fact that there
Rain and snow are expected Burodoburashichansu rain.

WHILE GFS euro Tuesday starting to heat from a number of things
I rely on the state towards the euro on Tuesday. Lightning"

wow. now we're cooking with SELY Jasutosutei.

i can't grow up cos i'm too old now.

today's another exciting day here on the "fram". day one of true unemployment, though whether i've really ever been "employed" is subject to debate. digging 1000 to 2000 cubic holes for tower footings "backinaday" may have been "real work", though i ain't sure i really attacked it the way i was supposed to. i really just enjoyed rolling rocks down the hill and watching where they went, even when we were sposeta keep all the spoils by the footing for backfill. i worked at the safeway pushing carts for two years, which most teenagers think of as real work, but i started at twenny and kept at it until they got tired of having the bald guy doing sixteen year olds' work and gave me a checkstand. the only time checking was hard was when i'd done a tuesday overnight price changing shift, skied my brains out wednesday, worked at crystal thursday and then gone back to the safeway thursday evening for a checking shift. pumpimg gas in high school was more just getting paid to do my homework and write poetry and check out the women driving by. while a liftie i sometimes hadda dig a buncha snow, but in the end, i averaged two hours a day skiing and really just stood there making sure no one ate shit on my ramp. long story short, i don't hafta work for the foreseeable future.
that said, i'm checking the noaa forecast discussions every few hours just in case. a "translation" of this follows:
"... Today is the front format, will be applied during rain and cool
The system moved west to Washington. Tonight, as applied wind
Developed a strong pressure gradient. Articles After calming
Tuesday ... more aggressive system will bring rain and snow on the mountain
Wednesday, Wednesday night. Cold weather and a chance
Precipitation is expected late this weekend."
i'm also arranging the "iTunes" bidness on this mac. there's abuncha songs that are, according to kris kristofferson, most definitely "country", and yet, according to "iTunes", are "rock", "pop" or "folk". shame. shit needa be right, yo!! so i'm puttin in my time.
in other news, i totally just slayed a "muga" righteous "raspberry zinger tea". this takes some serious concentration. "raspberry zinger" is the "rye whiskey of herbal teas", as you may well know. very aggressive, with a subtle tang off the back. just a hint of argentine malbec with a cliff lee curveball of oats 'n hunny. maybe a smack'em of toasted almonds.
speaking of malbec, saturday the ballard qfc was hosting an "open house", which really just consisted of lots of free food. if you din't already guess, i'm down with free food. qfc was my "goto" for lunch this summer, entirely cos a the free cheese samples out by the southwest entrance. at any rate, the head sommelier was giving out free one-ounce shots of four types of wine, of which i tried two. the first was a "layer cake malbec". (mid-length aside--i just checked how to spell "sommelier", and i found two differing opinions. one of them was a dude reviewing, oddly enough, a "layer cake shiraz", which was one of the options being flogged by the qfc dude. the blogger claimed to "know what a sommalier is and even how to spell it", but the other opinion was none other than the "free merriam-webster dictionary", which, though i am wrong every day, i think would be more right than some random dude, and it said "sommelier". anyway.) the second was some other kind i don't remember. two ounces of wine and i was done. not drunk or anything, but done with wine for another year. there were also more cheeses and all kinda random shit layed out, including "eggnog" that was more 7UP and ice cream than anything else (a very good thing) and some random layer cake. (again with the stretched connections.) we almost had our fill right there, but we also got some sushi from the "bar", something i've been warned against by three coworkers, yet i continue to do for a couple reasons: 1) i have a cast-iron stomach and 2) i could give a shit about "pure" sushi. the stuff at qfc tastes real good despite all the pretentions to the contrary.
in other other news, my back has been flooded for about two weeks. i had it licked, almost, but yesterday i slept in about two hours too long and now i hafta go through a routine of a long walk, heat, massage and stretching before it loosens up enough not suck entirely. this gettin old shit is gettin old.
maybe i needa take a book outa the charlie kelly bible and start drinkin beer, sniffin glue and eatin cat food before bed so i can get sick and fall asleep and forget my "problems".

waiting time again.

as is the wont of cascade weather patterns most novembers, it's not snowing. the air is cold and wet, the clouds are rolling along briskly--and most importanly, not stopping--and as such, it seems like it should be snowing, and maybe it is somewhere, but not here. in alignment with this somewhat contradictory weather, i am, even as a skier, kinda happy. i will be out of work until it snows, and i totally could use a few days off. i've been geetting paid to hold up benches for over 12 months straight, and dammit, i need a rest!!! it's hard work convincing people that turning barrel adjusters and pushing skis through machines (that do all the work) is hard work. i hafta get myself all dirty and sweaty so they think i'm "getting a lot done" when i reality, all i'm doing is getting a free season pass and cheap bike parts. with all my prairie lutheran guilt, you'd think i'd care about this poorly crafted "career", but i don't. i'm worth way the heck more than 15 bucks and hour, as my alter-ego can attest. in the land of my dreams, experienced ski/bike mechanics earn $30+ an hour, have free health care, get paid to go to "shamrock finding school", have grapes fed to them by naked slaves and ski all day without getting tired. oh, they also get weekly "makeovers" from that one chick who hosts "america's next top model". and wear patagucci flannels that are pre-distressed so that they can look even more "authenticated".
in other news, today is moving day #2 of who-knows-how-many. we are moving a bed and some other "schtuff" that requires use of my father's pickup truck,
"lucky", which has satellite radio and everything. i totally dig the idea of four different country stations who, in stark contrast to the state of seattle "radio", all play remarkably different styles of country and as such DON'T REPEAT EACH OTHER EVERY TWELVE MINUTES. it's kinda nice. i can hear justin townes earle and flatt&scruggs and dwight yokum and brad paisley all at once. i don't know why i'd need to, but the oportunity's there.
driving to "psp"--no, not the sony "portable entertainment system", but the pizza joint in the "vast" "opera district" of tacoma--last night i saw a sign for a stove and fireplace store. it has an electronic scroller sign that they never have scroll which causes them to only be able to post two words that they hope draw the customers in. last night's post was "wood insert". while i know what they meant, i almost fell out of the car laughing. i guess we're all looking to hard for that kinda joke. my roommate's answer was "that's what she said". oops. or as a more "pc" version (not a "mac" version, obviously) goes, "someone said it". i don't even know what that means.

what is following?

so, at the bottom of the "blogger dashboard", there's a button that reads "what is following?" while i din't bother to read what it said, i do have a good idea. however, ima hafta make up the definition cos the oxford english dictionary, "the definitive record of the english 'languish'", is available by "prescription" only. sounds like pre-gutenburg bible times.
following: verb, present tense, meaning to take other people's steeze by an underhanded nature. as in "i am following that peewee herman guy. he's got righteous style!! i like big forks."

anyway, it's raining, and as such, i'm burning lots of calories just being awake. to sate my needs, i'm schralping energy foods samples from the "interbike" festivities back in september. the first was a "stroopwafel" made by "honey stinger" and flogged on the packaging by none other than lance "trek-livestrong" armstrong. it had a pleasant cookie taste and somewhat gooey texture, waffle shaped, yes, but not at all like a stereotypical "belgian" waffle. (or, i should say, an american belgian waffle.) from which i garnished 160 calories and 4% of my iron for the day. no anemia for this sami! (incidently, there's an association of stroopwafel addicts.)
the second was a "NOWtm NO OPPORTUNITY WASTED ENERGY BAR". flogged by PHIL KEOGHAN Host of The Amazing Race. it tasted like an amalgamation of too much stuff, resulting in a kinda neutral ickiness. it is, however, "Powered by WITH NEW ZEALAND MANUKA HONEY WONDER PRODUCT". written in that annoying circular overlay that's meant to be read middle last, for effect. i know it's sposeta read "with new zealand wonder product, MANUKA HONEY", but i refuse to do that.
totally productive morning.
in other news, my roommate of the last month just left to grab the bus to taiwan. i'm conflicted about this. on the one hand, i've only known him a month, but on the other hand, i feel like i know him fairly well for my being someone who hates to get to know people. i can't imagine what it's like to walk out of a house in rural not-quite-tacompton and grab a bus and by the end of the day be not only in crowded, industrialised taiwan, but also in the future. seems like such a mindfuck that i have know way of understanding it. or even conceiving of it adequately. i imagine it's like dying. or going into a coma. one night you're hanging out with friends and the next night it's actually two nights later and no one around you speaks the same language and the maple tree that's shedding it's leaves rapidly in the heavy november downpour is gone, replaced by, what? i don't even know. my self-serving lesson is to never leave the country. or at least to never end up in such a starkly different place. i'm sure it's a symptom of my lack of desire for growth, but i'm happy not breaking too far outa my comfort zone. i also have no desire to visit chicago. or la. or nyc. or seattle, for that matter. i'm happy living in places with pastures or rivers or open spaces for back yards. i like have elk stare me down while i'm eating my cereal in the kitchen. i like hearing about a wolverine that my boss saw out his window before work. i like seeing cows and hearing chickens and watching the trees shed their leaves on open ground and having a good view from my bedroom that doesn't include another house. i liked growing up on a farm and hope that one day, if i ever have kids myself, they will enjoy the same sort of childhood i got to have. there's a kid who frequents the shop in ballard who knows most of the clerks at qfc by name. he seems so damn bored. all he has is a bike and some pavement. i had dirt and grass and trees and pasture and a huge, largely undeveloped neighbourhood. only a few country roads splitting the properties up. we could roam for miles and still be around people we knew from school. i don't know how anyone can live in a city, and yet so many people follow so many other people straight in. i feel like there's this bank of lockers surrounding the city, and when you move in permanently, you hafta put something of yourself in one, and forget it until you move out again. i think i put my control over my anger in the bank when i moved in this summer, and have since got it back after moving out. i don't plan on losing it again.

if i stare at the clouds long enough, i can make out the shades of gray whipping past. they are largely unbroken, in that november in washington way where you know it ain't gonna stop raining for a long time. and it's gonna keep raining hard while it's at it. fine with me. i ain't gonna do shit today, and ima like it!!!!